Title-less

Anyways, I went back to Tangkak today for no reason. A visit to my relatives.
This morning, we received news from my aunt that my grandpa's cousin had passed away who lived opposite my grandpa's old house. He is an English teacher who taught most of my uncles and aunties including my mum.
Previously, my cousin's maternal grandfather had passed away which was like few days ago.
Now, it seems like the elders that I've known and respected had left the world. I'm worried about my grandpa being paranoid as most of his friends had left.
I overheard my mum's conversation that my grandpa had something miserable. He told my mum that all his friends had gone.
Upon hearing his words, I felt...I just couldn't define it.
Before I went for my Hong Kong trip, we even saw my grandpa's cousin who spoke loudly to us.

So, when I was in my uncle's house, his wife, was talking to us about her philosophies in humor.
She advised us that we should come back often to see my gramps as they are lonely. Otherwise, we shall regret someday...someday. Gramps are happy when they see us.
Then, my aunt Kelly told me that, thank goodness my gramps move in to my uncle's house. Well, she said that, there is this belief where if everyone had left, they will pull you together.
Right. I started to get paranoid and many things pop up in my head repeatedly.

I'm such a dependent person when my loved ones are around me. What happened if they left one day? How long am I suppose to get over it? Can I get use to it when they are not around anymore? What am I suppose to do next? How hard can I cry? Am I prepared to move on?
All these questions...The whole journey from Tangkak to Melaka left me being blank physically and paranoid mentally. So emotional and I'm, of course, being sentimental.

You can say that I'm fearing for nonsense. Lately, I've not been reading newspaper but I've been listening to philosophies. I fear yet I've to remain still. Mourning for their losses.

Few minutes ago (before bathing), 1 word came into my mind.

APPRECIATE.

Yes, appreciate whatever they have done for you.
Be thankful as they care and love you.

Sorry for posting jinx-ie stuff on the first day of the year.
Condolences to the family.



Agh...I still have things to do. In the search of ka-ching. I dare to take up the challenge and I should finish it. Console me, somebody.