Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Back to life

Back from China and it is fucking awesome country. Let's not mention the human civilization first. Nope, sorry, not gonna upload photos atm.

Back to humid weather, fucking hectic life and worrisome tasks.

I'm still scare coz I can't see what's ahead of me anymore. I just couldn't imagine what I can do with the present that I've to show in the FUTURE. The road at the moment is extremely Blurry, refusing to make choices for the diverge forks of the road.

Back to unwanted life

Sunday, December 12, 2010

I still fear but it takes a whole amount of courage to stand up

Hello? Hi? Hey?... tired of any typical announce-my-presence greetings. Sometimes, simple smile and head nodding will do. Ya know what I dislike, people shaking hands without sincere.

Anyways, for the past few days weren't any other ordinary good days for me. Once again, I've to undergo the same fear and the cowardly act. No, honestly, yeah. It's still feels unreal to be in fear again. Numerous of nightmare episodes that repeatedly haunting the mind.

It would be sick and irritating to continuously seeking for the same 'therapist' for some ala therapy talks. I can't help but I need comfort and trust-able 'pillow' for me to confess. Someday, somewhere, sometime when it occurs, I've to be facing it alone but when can I have the courage to face it?

My friend taught me to keep myself in the place I'm most comfortable with... I'm looking for a place like this, minimalist artistic.

Although I look as if alright and sleeping soundly in the midst of night, to be honest, I wasn't sleeping sweetly like everyone does. Best part is I don't shed tears for I'm braver than what I've thought.

Buddha, please bless and grant for a tiny peasant's wishes to be good for all.

Adore this look.

I love the bowtie

Saturday, December 4, 2010

At times, I'm a bit lonely due to my shyness

Happy Holidays to MMU-ians.

While everyone go for holidays and hanging out with friends, I shall be the geek staying in completing assignments that needed to be done ASAP! Loneliness stalks in.


  • All assignments including final year project.
  • Getting my checklists done for a vacation.
  • Visit dentist.
  • More reading.
  • PS 3.
  • Exercise.
  • Tuitions for replacements.

I can't wait for the mid month to come. Another best part of my life is about to be written. I hope that the best part may change me to be more courageous and tougher. I'm still wandering in the same circle, drawing thoughts.

The agony in me has prevailed my empty mind. I don't understand why I still insist to undergo the process of selecting, perhaps I was spoil with given choices around me. Opportunities are everywhere but why am I refusing to make a choice quick and fast? Most importantly accurate. I was torn between two choices and it created plentiful of chaos for all. Doesn't matter if it's selecting what to eat, what to drink, what to do. *sigh*

When one is taken away, the other will fight for it back. - Regrets.