Thanks for mind fuck, I spare some time here. Happy New Year all.

I'm seeing everyone's blog wishing Happy New Year, though it may sounds typical but yeah, Happy New Year. I wasn't really keen on this celebration so I'll just wait for the Chinese New Year one.

Anyways, I had New Year Eve's presents and a plentiful, let's just say they belong to vintage ones. Tonnes of vintage.

Then, first day of new year, experiencing severe headache due to excessive mind fucking shocks which prolong till today and for the coming days as well.

Again, I was feeling dead few days ago till caffeine came and resurrected me but trapped in the body of a zombie feeling. Funnily, the body that seems to be restless but the brain is still thirsty for sleep, so i guess the brain is actually working.

All I can say for now is MIND FUCK! Cursing has always been part of me when the anger is boiling. Definitely not pleasant being Mind Fuck severely. Thanks to FYP, I can kiss it goodbye.

New Year's resolutions:

Kick off procrastination

Sleep early

Wardrobe makeover

Live life Love life

At times, I'm a bit lonely due to my shyness

Happy Holidays to MMU-ians.

While everyone go for holidays and hanging out with friends, I shall be the geek staying in completing assignments that needed to be done ASAP! Loneliness stalks in.

Tasks:

• All assignments including final year project.
• Getting my checklists done for a vacation.
• Visit dentist.
• More reading.
• PS 3.
• Exercise.
• Tuitions for replacements.

I can't wait for the mid month to come. Another best part of my life is about to be written. I hope that the best part may change me to be more courageous and tougher. I'm still wandering in the same circle, drawing thoughts.

The agony in me has prevailed my empty mind. I don't understand why I still insist to undergo the process of selecting, perhaps I was spoil with given choices around me. Opportunities are everywhere but why am I refusing to make a choice quick and fast? Most importantly accurate. I was torn between two choices and it created plentiful of chaos for all. Doesn't matter if it's selecting what to eat, what to drink, what to do. *sigh*

When one is taken away, the other will fight for it back. - Regrets.

Random 10

I'm back with my random thoughts again and this time around, please listen or just be understandable.

#1

This is not a secret anymore, more likely of a fact that's revolving throughout the whole life.

Yes, I suck and I can sense that I'm a real failure for all these love shits.

a. I fall for a person that's really contradicting with my characters.

b. I met the right person but at the wrong time.

c. I fall for the right person but I'm too late.

d. I met the wrong person at the right time.

Totally embarrassed with my failure, I've met many people and how could I not have the chance to be love. I don't know if I should cry or laugh with all these total failures. Just like the song 'Reasons to Love'- Meiko, there shouldn't be any reasons to be in love. How can anyone just land into a relationship easily? Overall, I suck ok. End of #1.

#2

I've temper and please don't test my limited patience. I've done nothing wrong and I am a very considerate person. If you don't tell me what restrictions you would like restrain, I'm sorry but I can't help to be myself and do it on my very own way. Don't let me turn to a freaking ugly bitch for you!

#3

I want to be a homemaker for the time being to fill up my fucking mind with useful stuff instead of sitting down looking up at the skies and awaiting for a day to end, not my routine everyday.

#4

I'm not the pedophile vampire like Edward Cullen, I can't read your mind. Please refer to #2.

#5

Stupidities never fail to occur in my daily life. No matter what I see and experience, I'm always the one that's been shot simultaneously with another third shooter. Imagine snipers, unaware of the presence till the actions begin.

#6

Recently, there's this popular Korean boy band and the name is Lucifer??? Isn't that's the name of devil and don't anyone suspect that they might have deal with devil? A trade for fame with the devil? Maybe they worship devil? I'm bias am I?

#7

I don't feel satisfied with what I've accomplish and I feel nothing at all. Yet, I'm not ready to push myself out of the comfort zone and there's fear of making a move forward for there's no turning back. The more I search for future, the more I fear.

#8

Do you think I'm matured?

#9

I've only got one mission to accomplish and then I'll really feel relieve. Only one and I am not greedy anymore. I only yearn for relief.

#10

Just to make it so nicely done, I shall insert 10. To sum it all up, I really suck and I'm already 21, still feeling sad and pathetic with no luck at all. No fucking luck in meeting the right person.

Time to spare for myself

I let some time to spare to rethink about my recent behaviors and attitudes:

* I've been cutting off people's sentences.

* I should pay more concern to those who are actually yearning for listeners.

* I should be stronger in constructing my determinations.

* I need to cut ties with my bad habits at the table.

* I should be more sensitive and thoughtful to people I care.

@ Yesterday *Today #Tomorrow

@ the whole colleagues were concerning about a staff. CONCERN not GOSSIP.

@ the first FIFA match kicks off with a messy game. The concert was fucking high.

@ admitted that there's nil forms of relationship and I answered it without hesitation.

* I've begin to realize marriage provides insecurity.

* Almost everyday I'm hearing the same name and I fear for my fall again. xxsxx

* Jon was right, the more I work the more emotional I get after working.

* Portugal and Spain all the way.

* I am LOST.

# The world is still at it's size, I can still walk.

# The dream may last for long. Hopefully.

# I tried ignoring but your presence is so strong, you bastard. I'll try again.

Today my mind said...

#I wanna thank my colleague for accompanying me to accomplish my project. Thank you! Without her, I couldn't find my courage to continue this whole thing.

#Lately, I found my mouth has turned to less potty and I miss my old me.

#I've no fond of bragging for good or bad to the public cause you will not understand what the fuck am I conveying, which I rather tape my mouth in suffocation than being humiliate.

#I can wear jeans, skirts, dresses to work without worrying about informality. I'm allow to be casual.

#I also learn a new and interesting job and I thank that man to explain though he was in the midst of his business.

#I've been asked how many banks does Malaysia has? My answer: I don't know. Straightforward. I'm not bloody interested in banks that's similar to ah longs!

#I'm being use to be ignored and already immune. Call me lone ranger.

#Try staying out of everyone's affairs and businesses, it lead you to no good and shits.

#This week has finally written my affair with sotong and kangkung.

#Definitely need to learn the art of talking cock.

#Recently, I'm resenting my hatred towards those who draw conclusions swiftly without understanding the real situations.

Of course you can't tell that I'm ecstatic coz you don't know.

Current New Addi[c]tion Playlist

• Clockwatching- Jason Mraz (sounds like my fun moments)
• Bella Luna- J. Mraz (the moon is beautiful)
• No Stopping Us- J. Mraz (I have more than what you think)
• Absolutely Zero- J. Mraz (I want more zeros in my bank account)
• Lonely In Gorgeous- Paradise Kiss OST (Being lonely can be gorgeous at times.. fuck)
• Everything you Want- Vertical Horizon (It could be 'you' that's in front of my eyes)
• Automatic- Tokio Hotel (emotional rhythm)
• Jenny- Click Five (I just replaced it with Danielle)
• The Light Before We Land- Gunslinger Girl OST (Wave goodbye to Buddha before I land here)
• Waltz- Suneohair (One day.. just one day)
• Fluorescent Adolescent- Artic Monkeys (those days had over)
• Details in the Fabric- J. Mraz and James Morrison (Know your name and find the way)
• Do you wanna- Franz Ferdinand (Not sure if I know what I want)

Can you tell that I'm ecstatic????

Lady Dreamer, you might be the soundest sleeper,

Tonight sleep tight and build your nest upon my shoulder.

Of earphones and annoy

I've not returned to the library for ages and there're lots of new faces. I used to love hanging out there back then but now, I sort of dislike it. That's because the library is full and I don't have a personal space on my own... well... it's getting crowded and when library is suppose to be a quiet and serene place. Nevertheless, those monkeys just couldn't keep their volume down.

This noon I was so fucking fed up and tired, what's more when my personal space had been intruded with all the noises. I really got fucking annoyed but I was helpless, cause my earphones are somewhere in the dump already. Now, I really hate going to the noisy library without my earphones. At least, a piece of mind la...

Although Sony Erricsson is unique but it's overly unique till I've to get an earphone with a plug that matches with SE's portal. Goodamn it! Now, I have to reconsider whether to get an earphone to match SE or some limited edition and uber cool one. My songs are all in SE and I'm too poor to get an Apple.

Been eyeing on Philips earphones cause I love their metallic blue.

Saw this colorful packaging in Singapore's Hershey's Stores.

Yet, I've to reconsider on SE!

I need earphones badly!

='(

there's too much for me to hate

I might sound or look like a mess for these recent weeks. Thanks to the endless complications and difficulties given by the cakap tin kosong.

But, all I want to express is...

I hate ah bengs and ah lians

I hate motorcyclist, especially the fat ones

I hate those fucking crows for terrorizing my serenity zone

I hate dogs with big teeth

I hate tiao kei people (they always challenge my patience)

I hate kids pretending to be grown up

I hate kiasu people... only because they always fight to queue in the line just for everything

I hate drivers that don't turn their bloody signals on

I hate bullshits without actions

I hate time cramming

I hate creativity limitations

I hate girls who acts and speaks like paris hilton

I hate wannabes with no attitudes

I hate Taiwan's female celebrities (and same goes to the male) who like to act cute

I hate awkwardness

I hate spoil brats

I hate overrated with low quality products, movies and phenomenas

I hate the authorities for cutting the damn trees in the campus

I hate the authorities for cutting the damn trees along the bloody road. (the trees' branches are not as huge as i thought)

I hate people who spit and throw rubbish on the road

I hate Avril Lavigne loves pink

I hate E news for being so cheap

I felt lost without my Sony Erricson earphones when I'm in quiet places. (spoiled)

That's it... I have too much to hate.

Back to reality and this is so TL lor... FYP chapter2 haven't started. Tomorrow is mum's birthday and the Jade Emperor's birthday.

1. Sibeh sien, there are things awaiting me to finish and I finally saw the implementation of 'No free lunch'.
2. Nabeh, dilemma comes back, adoi, why la dad has to do all these analysis when I tried less hassle thoughts. Should I stay or travel further?
3. One has to depend on oneself to solve problems instead of being ostrich. Yea lor, all my fucking tedious procedures that I have to undergo. It's silly of me to dream of having people to clean up all my procedures and clear the bloody rocky road for me. In the end, I've to fall back to reality, do I have to blame the world for being cruel or blame myself for being lazy?
4. Siao liao lor, ate, drank, played and gambled too much. I've got nothing best to do other than watching New Moon for the freaking-god-knows-how-many-times. In need for exercise. Aargh...
5. This is so irritating, there are so many laotikos in FB.

Shit stuff to do

Stuff to kill the time:

Offend people in forums, pretending to be anonymous

Load songs that I completely don't understand

Watch Gaki No Tsukai

Telling myself to be anti social person

Reading stupid shits

Googling for all the wrong reasons

Stumbling the wrong websites... almost. Whatcha thinking?

Turning myself into geek

Pets that are way too impossible

I've got three journals that need to be scheme and scan through for my assignment, summarize those 3 assignments into one page. Obviously, you can see me blogging and not doing the work. It's due by next week and it's not easy to do those donkey jobs.

Oh well, let me satisfy my needs of procrastination before I head to serious work. *yeah right*. Before that, I was reading some National Geographic magazines, which I really love to stare and appreciate the photographers' artwork. Mesmerizing. Most of the articles that I really read was about cultures and animals.

Animals huh... I never rare a pet before except for the digital ones, not counted. Hence, I made myself a list of my wanted pets.

1. Polar bear

They can be 9ft tall and weighing 1000kg for a warm blooded animal surviving in the icy continent. Nonetheless, don't be fool by their sharp fangs and ferocious sounds but they are gentle animal.

2. Humpback whale

If only I own a big big big aquarium just like the vast sea. Though they don't have cute features but they are indeed a mysterious largest mammal living in the sea. The sound they produce is serene.

3. Harp seal

Another adorable animal living in the icy world, their black eyes make me drop my knees. Surprisingly, their population had increased after the Canada's government had strictly outlaw seal hunting. After all, they are too adorable to be your fur coat.

4. Panda

China's animal and they are rare species. Plus, their birthrate has dropped after the Sichuan Earthquake last year, 12/5/2008. I always mistaken their big black spots on their head as their eyes.

5. Ok, this one is realistic pet compared to the previous four. It's easy to breed and smaller than others. Besides, it's my favourite pet and I don't really like dogs. CATS. They always portray themselves as mystery.

There, am I happy now???? Nope, because I want to sleep.

Expect the Unexpected from Men Style

Something I would like to share with the MEN.

I went to Men Style by accidentally. Let me present you, The 50 Most Stylish Men. Erm.. not all but some notable men I know but before that, let's see the who top the 3 places?

1. Marcello Mastroianni

A white French-cuff shirt makes the gentleman. But be sure to keep the cuff links simple—the boldness of the cuffs makes enough of a statement.

2. Steve McQueen

The simpler the better. You don’t need bold patterns or loud colors to make a style statement. A perfect-fitting T-shirt and a great pair of black wraparound shades will do just fine.

3. David Bailey

The white tank-top T-shirt will never lose its cool. Every man goes through his phase of wearing one.

That's the top 3. Now, let's see whose in the list of 50???

David Bowie

The skinnier the tie, the louder the (style) performance. And isn’t it funny how what looked sharp forty years ago still looks sharp today?

Elvis Presley

A knit tie will never go out of style. The Beatles wore them when they got off the plane at JFK (black ones, with square-cut bottoms), and you can still buy any number of versions today.

George Clooney

Go gray. Just be sure to keep your hair on the trim side and dress like a gentleman—not a frat boy. You’re no longer in college.

Muhammad Ali

Wear a slim dark suit, white shirt, and dark tie, and you’ll look like a champ. That’s really all you need to know. It’s that simple.

Björn Borg

Long hair works best when it’s loose and easy. You don’t want a coif or a do—you are not a member of Poison or Warrant.

Yves Saint Lauren

Find a signature item and stick with it. Saint-Laurent wore a version of these bold glasses throughout his career.

Johnny Depp

A tweak here and there can elevate even the simplest outfits.Notice the rolled-up sleeves, the neckpiece, the beat-up boots instead of sneakers. Small moves like these separate you from the pack.

Kurt Cobain

Beat-up jeans are America’s gift to the world of style. Not that we’re saying wear torn-and-frayed denim to the office, but it’s hard to go wrong wearing it when you’re off the clock.

Kennedy Brothers

Tweed jackets carry that Kennedy pedigree, but they look great on everyone. Just pick your

favorite one and wear it your way—with khakis, with jeans, with a polo shirt, with a V-neck

sweater…

Sean Connery

The little things make the man. Notice the cufflinks and the pocket square. But also notice that

they’re subdued—white handkerchief, understated links. And the suit, shirt, and tie are also

subtle. Look chic, not like a mobster.

Woody Allen

Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Allen has spent a lifetime embracing his oddness, and

women have spent a lifetime embracing him.

Al Pacino

A black leather jacket is versatile. Try one with suit pants, or even a white dress shirt and a

dark slim tie.

Marlon Brando

Suit your shape. If you have strong, broad shoulders, you don’t need a heavily padded suit to

accentuate them.

Andre 3000

Find your inner dandy and let him loose. Getting dressed should be fun, not stressful.

The Ramones

A Leather biker jacket should be snug and trim. Buy one a size smaller than you normally

would and you’ll look like a rock star. Trust us.

Michael Jordan

A bald head is always better than a balding head. Jordan taught us this, and everyone from

Bruce Willis to Mark Messier has proved it so.

Jack Nicholson

A denim shirt is brilliantly, unimpeachably American. And just like a pair of jeans, it gets better

the more you wear it

Rolling Stones (Mick and Keith)

It’s called attitude. Nothing finishes off an outfit better than a sharp dose of confidence. How else

do grown men get away with wearing silk scarves and ruffled shirts?

Alain Delon

Dress for the occasion. When you’re vacationing in the south of Italy in the middle of summer,

it’s okay to undo an extra button.

Pete Doherty

Just because you’re wearing a suit doesn’t mean you can’t wear boots. But we’re not talking

businessman suits—we’re talking slim-cut, rock-guy getups.

Click the link if you're curious. Good pictures by the way.

Expect the unexpected.