Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Alive- Black Eyed Peas

While listening to some sober melodies, I was browsing pictures of old flame. Thus, unwanted memories came up and was glad that it had over long long time ago. It was easy to reprise the unwanted memories and it wasn't easy to recall the beautiful memories.

I'm contracted with Bipolar disorder I think.

I'm still feeling underachieved cause I've never achieve anything before. Sadding. How to preview my resume to the reality?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Evil and a Heathen- Franz Ferdinand

I tried telling myself for numerous of times that it was just merely a switch that triggers the fear. There was nothing to be afraid because the victim is not ME. Yet, living with the problem is the real fear for I'm scared and worried for what I've experienced. Each time, I whispered by myself that everything is gonna be alright but to flash the incurable suffer has amount my fears even more, why can't live with it free worries? I don't know when to call or not to call the befall is fair or unjust. Talking and comforting myself is just another action of lying to myself. I still use my hands to close my ears as tight as silent as I could. Crying is rather useless for drops of tears could not help and heal. Yet, I'm clueless of what sort of reactions I've to put on my face for it is all depend on the courage and situation that is leaving the marks forever in my mind. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

December Baby- Ingrid Michaelson

Just couldn't figure out how to begin and end with everything wonderfully.
I'm still battling with my ADD and procrastination. I can slightly feel the tingling rush of my deadlines for assignment submission but just refusing to do it.

If the world end is near approaching, should I say it or just keep in the heart not knowing forever? Trying to grab the good timing so it doesn't leak easily. Yet, fear is never easy to battle with. 


la la la lies- Jack's Mannequin

fears are growing and living amongst me everyday. yet, i still need to live with the growing fears. how to shrink the fear? 

sometimes, i wonder if i should get close or stay far away with my fears. to get close, it's dealing with blankly clueless and useless. to stay far away, it's running and hiding away from the shits.

sometimes, it brings me shivers and frights by merely thinking of it. it is my responsibility to take care but no one gave me an emergency kit for fighting fears. 

sometimes, i just refuse to face my fears and deal with it. more likely, escaping away from it. 


Saturday, March 19, 2011

I'm not listening to anything but the TV

You've no idea how's it like to be trolled for all the wrong reasons. Of course I don't understand, I'm not the worm of your body. How do I understand the awesome-ness you felt? I would've trolled you back before I sleep but time called so I slept.

Now, I feel disgusted for the reaction you made that is identical to someone I now disrespect. I was shocked and the influences in you people are so gay. You hear me, GAY.

Ok thanks bye. Good morning.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Fall for Anything- The Script

My salute and gratitude are sent out to the 50 workers in the Nuclear Reactor. With the spirit-like of Kamikaze, they had stayed back to chill the nuclear and working their asses off in the hazardous nuclear reactor. They sacrifices their lives and living amongst the nuclear radiation to prevent the whole Japan affected from nuclear's radiation. REAL HEROES AND REAL MEN. My salute to you.

Today, my eyes couldn't help but caught a glimpse of people I desired to see. I don't know what to do at times, should I speak or stay silent? To speak may lead the words to leak. To silent may lead to unsung voice of regrets.

The memories shall never repeat again.

Howl- Florence and The Machine

The funniest joke of the day is I'm being regard as FRIENDLY.

1st, I say thank you for such nice label
2nd, apparently, I'm a troller when I see something that is not right.
3rd, I don't really like to greet and say hi recently.

Anyhow, I'm still struggling with my ADD and the war is getting intense because I can't seems to get control of it.  I still failed with my battle of procrastination and ADD. Fail is Phail. I'm so sorry for myself.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

We No Speak Americano- Yolanda

Let me tell you what I've encounter so far. People who bad mouthed other people in front of you but did the otherwise behind your back. what could be your reaction for such problem?

No wonder my other friends always vent when they encounter this kind of people especially when you treated them like your other best friends. Perhaps, misinterpretation of every behavior and action's purposes could lead to such misunderstanding?

Unsure of those but what's been done has done and I'm fed up of being nice. Or maybe I was just being selfish? Some people do not know what I'm into and when they talk about it, sometimes I got offended although they knew I'm not the kind of person that can blend into their talks and topics. I'm rather boyish or manlish so I don't talk like them. I'm glad if I can curse and swear in the group but when I do, I would get weird stares so I rather keep it silent.

Maybe I'm inconsiderate and selfish, probably annoying too. Bah, I don't care anymore.

Ya know what I find it's right?

Being optimistic is just to shed and camouflage the pessimist in you- All's Well Ends Well 2011.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

But it's better if you do- PATD

Frankly speaking, I have ADD and it is confirmed. Due to the constant attentions from other pages, I'm not consistent enough to finish the whole important article for coming assignments or maybe the topics are boring? Tax Haven, shouldn't be.... a handful of usefulness could be use in the future, to evade heavy taxes imposed by the bodies. It's a crime, I know.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Heartbeat- Enrique Iglesias featuring Nicole Scherzinger

There's no window where I'm sitting right now so I can't gaze out to the skies and stars to vent out emotions while listening to my songs. The truth is already in my head and I've known it long time ago. Yet sometimes I wonder is it worthwhile to keep or just dump? Can't guess what am I relating to? It's none other than FRIENDSHIP.

People come and go in our lives, they don't stay long because we have short life span. Anyhow, I'm realizing that people do make friends with you when you do have assets or benefits that they can take or rather steal from you. I've seen it and I'm disgusted by their hypocrisy. Okay, maybe I troll much because I dislike and would not want to give face to their statements. Well, I'm the ignorance and also the evil person. So, I troll whenever you tell, ask or give stupid statements. (unaware that i'm stupid too). At times, I realized that I'm a sadistic and I enjoy seeing people's face that got troll by me.

I don't want another stupid emotional post on how forever alone or pathetic I am getting. Au Revoir.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Panic at the disco is back to my life

My age already surpass 20 and I still do have the tendency to escape and run away from the reality. The road down is so blur and unclear. I can't see clearly till I decide which path to go. Even when I'm in break, I'm still escaping to the virtual world and everyday trolling people. Yet, not realizing I wasn't good enough to contribute the world. I can't even finish reading an investment article within minutes.... FML.

I've the tendency to troll people on FaceBook because I dislike what I saw and feel although I knew it's none of my business. But, it's part of my interest to do it. So, I like. 

Right now, I'm so hungry for the moment and I can't believe I was so genius enough to pour in so much of vodka. The grapefruit flavoured vodka still taste like medicine to me. It's my third time mixing it and I still can't take it though I mixed it with lime. It still taste like bloody medicine and I can still feel the tingling on my tongue by merely thinking of it.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

extreme brief recap

hi, oh my, i see crickets are singing and spiderwebs everywhere. Rabbit dust are hopping around with their evil smiley faces. oh boy, let's see, just ended my second last semester and that semester was a chaotic one.

it leaves me no peace for rest, going up and down the miles, literally. numerous trips to hospital, fling of emotions, bunch of confusions, buckets of joy, barrels of fun and so on. it leaves me no rest especially the hospital part and my final year project's tortures.

trips to USS and guangzhou was the best and enjoyable. sadly, my cousin has lost our pictures of USS in her pc.

the mixed feelings was heavily revolve around although i had tried my best to escape. it is still there and i can't deny. thus, actions need to be taken.

i got nothing much to jot down anymore, perhaps i am lazy.

besides, i've got so many thoughts haunting me till the end of this holidays and might prolong till God knows when.