Results

Upon hearing the release of results for my 2nd semester, my heart thumped faster than riding the roller coaster. I took a deep breath to check my results. I was devastated for a moment.
Apparently, the results were very disappointing. My gpa dropped like hell. I was dumbfounded. It was at night when I checked my results which is also a good reason for me to get to bed early. In the end, I've nowhere else to shift my anger and I threw it out by crying. Yes, I cried. It's a shameful thing for me to say. I cried till I slept with songs and my eyes got puffy this morning. My parents did not acknowledge about it and they asked why are my eyes got puffy and I answered 'I overslept'. Oh boy...what a lie.

Last night, I thought and thought, where the hell had I gone wrong. What did I do to make god pissed me off (stole this from Juinn Ruei)?

I had attended all my classes.
I finished all my assignments early.
I put so much effort in all my assignments.
I studied and understood all my studies by studying extra hours.
I don't cheat in exams.
I took my academic seriously.
I did past year papers.
I visited my lecturers often which is quite unusual.
I did not gave up till the very last minute.

And this is what I deserved???

There are certain students out there who put less effort and they got what they shouldn't deserve.
A friend of mine had consoled me,' aiya, next sem can try harder. don't think so much.' That friend of mine was even success than me. How can I not think so much? I put so much effort. If I don't cry, it shows that I'm prepared for the worst. But, I cried as though I loss my loved ones.
Some of you might just think that it's no big deal. GPA can be earn next semester...Sorry, I don't think of it this way. I put all my efforts on my present days and like I always said,'I can't predict future.' Nobody knows how much important is it to me including that friend of mine. Sorry to say that but it's something that I'm trying to earn it back from the past.
I felt that I've let down my parents (I still have not mention it.)
I've sounded as if the world has end for me.
Nope...this morning, I tried to put on my happy mask but the sad mask just wouldn't want to come off.
I'm so weak even though I believe I can stay strong. Too bad. It goes the other way round.

So, to MMU friends of mine, please don't ask me regarding my results. I'm just too depress and dissappointed to say. Call me a sore loser for the time being. Please don't help me to trigger those unwanted moments to appear in my brain's canvas. Don't sympathy me. Help me by being a friend who is there for me.

Seriously, what have I done to pissed god?
I don't know how to start my new semester.

It's too late for me to cry over spilt milk.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

Nobody knows how much important it is to me.

At least, I felt so much better after crying.


Listening to Panic at the disco- Northern Downpour and Why cry