RAInBOW

Just completed my FYP and intended to go to bed early but look at the time, already past 12am and I've got tuition to be given in the morning. Then, in the noon I need to wait for email from my supervisor upon the approval of printing. Argh... After completing all these baloneys, I felt bored and lifeless now. I could have use the good time to go read some books and computer is still here to accompany me. I couldn't sleep at this moment right now and I still feel awake. Let me jot down few thoughts from my mind first. Maybe I've gone a bit far by interacting with a guy and I kept assuming these and those, well, you know.... Then, at some point, I felt the rush to spill out everything to let the rock out from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what that person is gonna think because I just couldn't take it anymore and I own a short temper. I might sound selfish for being inconsiderate with the person thoughts but I just couldn't care and take it anymore. What if year 2012 disasters is coming true? Nobody wants to live life regretful which at least, I found a chance to do something right. It's a new era of equality so maybe in some part, there's consideration that can be taken only to the current person I've interacted. "Heaven Forbid" is being played over and over again numerously, some sort of emotional part, I haven't read the lyrics yet but the melody is just enough to make me feel the emotions of the song. I recalled 'Heaven forbid you end up alone' which already made me question everything by taking account of needs and wants. 'Out of this one, I don't know how to get you'.... that ends everything with a hope. Argh, I think I am turning into emotional bitch. Alright. Emo bitch needs to sleep. Off to lala land soon. Au Revoir! A bientot!!!!!

the only thing i want to accomplish is what's need to be accomplish

Supposing spending the time to revise and amend mistakes done in my final year project but my mind was left off wandering to some place wrongly.

it's a place where speech of freedom is available in colorful ecstasy:

我很想告诉你，我曾经喜欢过你。现在。。也许，或许还有一点点。但我又犯最大的错误就是自作多情。一直很想一了了之的说给你因为我的心却是放不下。时间总是不给我个机会。。。

i've got a short and hot temper which i will do anything that ease the hardness in me.

Thanks for mind fuck, I spare some time here. Happy New Year all.

I'm seeing everyone's blog wishing Happy New Year, though it may sounds typical but yeah, Happy New Year. I wasn't really keen on this celebration so I'll just wait for the Chinese New Year one.

Anyways, I had New Year Eve's presents and a plentiful, let's just say they belong to vintage ones. Tonnes of vintage.

Then, first day of new year, experiencing severe headache due to excessive mind fucking shocks which prolong till today and for the coming days as well.

Again, I was feeling dead few days ago till caffeine came and resurrected me but trapped in the body of a zombie feeling. Funnily, the body that seems to be restless but the brain is still thirsty for sleep, so i guess the brain is actually working.

All I can say for now is MIND FUCK! Cursing has always been part of me when the anger is boiling. Definitely not pleasant being Mind Fuck severely. Thanks to FYP, I can kiss it goodbye.

New Year's resolutions:

Kick off procrastination

Sleep early

Wardrobe makeover

Live life Love life

I still fear but it takes a whole amount of courage to stand up

Hello? Hi? Hey?... tired of any typical announce-my-presence greetings. Sometimes, simple smile and head nodding will do. Ya know what I dislike, people shaking hands without sincere.

Anyways, for the past few days weren't any other ordinary good days for me. Once again, I've to undergo the same fear and the cowardly act. No, honestly, yeah. It's still feels unreal to be in fear again. Numerous of nightmare episodes that repeatedly haunting the mind.

It would be sick and irritating to continuously seeking for the same 'therapist' for some ala therapy talks. I can't help but I need comfort and trust-able 'pillow' for me to confess. Someday, somewhere, sometime when it occurs, I've to be facing it alone but when can I have the courage to face it?

My friend taught me to keep myself in the place I'm most comfortable with... I'm looking for a place like this, minimalist artistic.

Although I look as if alright and sleeping soundly in the midst of night, to be honest, I wasn't sleeping sweetly like everyone does. Best part is I don't shed tears for I'm braver than what I've thought.

Buddha, please bless and grant for a tiny peasant's wishes to be good for all.

Adore this look.

I love the bowtie

When i look at the runway, i really want to trespass

Can I trespass the airport runway near my house for photoshooting? Me love the view when there's bright blue sky and not so much of the sun, just enough brightness to capture my world.

I'm beginning to love Lomography. You don't know what are the outcomes that leave you a plentiful of surprises. =)

Bagai kacang dilupakan kulit or 狗咬吕洞宾，不识好人心.

The blog really looks dead. *Sigh*. It's been chaotic and lost with the time track, *hopefully* temporarily.

Bagai kacang dilupakan kulit or 狗咬吕洞宾，不识好人心.

Maybe I was being too kind or rather realistically naive.

Putting such hopes, hopes for a return ticket that's never gonna exist.

That's when the time of changes had proven you with your five senses.

People do change but some do change for good and some do change to worst.

Sincerity and truthfulness were almost non- existence at all.

Yet, we are still throwing away our kindness and sympathies to those who we've judged wrongly.

Even, if we stood up for them but cold shoulders is what they were transmitting to you.

One good deed may change their lives forever and they take it for granted.

When help seeks them, they cornered themselves to somewhere couldn't be found.

Even worst, we're feeling like a fool.

Being the kindest does not get one's good impression after all.

What's good for impression is what you've accomplish in glory so far.

That's when you'll be crowded with people that had never smiled at you before.

To begin with the cycle, I ask, what's the most important resources should helping to build up one's foundation?

Some are desperate attention seeker.

Some likes to provoke fire within themselves.

Some loves to play dual mask among themselves.

Some just couldn't stand alone.

Some just love to whine in another way of bragging.

Seriously, I'm fucking tired of all these and rather be gathering myself to become a social awkward before turning to the world.

can u feel the night?

i'm feeling stress but i just felt reluctant to continue it. i don't have the passion and mood to do it right now, temporarily but i really feel depress to think about it. i got presentation coming up and i feel pretty useless when facing it. i'm still at the point of divergence even though i made my decision to choose a road but my feet refuse to make a step forward. like confucius said a journey of thousand miles begin with a single step yet i'm still stopping whatever progress i am having. its demotivating.

fuck the heat waves

imma talk no more coz i am undergoing a wave that is completely torturing my mind and my body. fuck the heat waves that's circulating around the house from morning till night. damn!

three flavours. two types. one mouth.

alright, i made a combo of three flavours, two kinds and one mouth.

yes. banana, coconut and lemon. cake and tarts. to eat. apparently i spoiled the weighing machine which i ended up to use mathematical converters and calculators to ounce instead of grams. yet, the taste and texture still remains the same. i is winrar.

few days ago, i finished sewing my zippers pencil case and i still have not use it. next project, it's a coin pouch with zippers also. there are two sides, the cool colors and the summer colors.

evening caught me a surprise. the flowers had finally bloomed and it's perfectly pink. not like other eeckie pinks which made me puke for sure.

just few of my likenesses from ma eyes

no intention to post for i am lazy to transfer my mini project pictures into the pc. thus, i shall post it next time.

i am here today to post something recurring my likenesses and memories.

first, the emptiness of the space that perks up the bland color of the walls. the red chair that is the main character of the picture.

second, the girl with pearl white skin and with stereotyping, we called it pale. nevertheless, her pearl-ness skin tone is balance and sweet with the striking flowers that stay behind her ears.

third, this picture with two kittens are so cute and the title is library. yeah, it reminded me of students of couples that hanging in the library as an excuse for dating or courtship. hahaha.

finally, i wanted to own good camera since high school and now it feels like getting commercial. even form 1 students can afford it. gooddamn. so i divert it to drums first. photography comes later though i still love stealing pictures over deviant art.

i present you this drum cover for my favourite song. the video title says it.

P/s: i wanna get a baby blue nail polish.

suck it and fuck it

She made me feel like dancing and singing with it. So dynamic and slightly dramatic just the way I wanted.

My lessons are getting tougher than I ever thought and I don't have music class history except choirs. Ironically, I still sound a bit deaf tone and dumb beat. Nevertheless, I must not give up for I'm paying my fees with my hard earned money. Damn!

I'm back with stealing arts and I love my 'crimes' on the line. Pictures sizes are too big to insert here.

why is everyone going for holidays and mine is on the wrong time???????

i is fucking jealous okayh and the farrest i ever traveled this year so far was SINGAPORE!

oh, crystal ball crystal ball

It's holidays and I still feel the stress from my part time job. It's really stress until my soul is wandering from the concretions.

Thus, I feel like giving away free hugs while pondering on the song 'Details in the Fabric'. Life just turn bland again. *sigh*

Mum claimed I have hearing problems but there's a history she's not aware of it. Probably slightly damaged.

I feel like getting a lomo camera for myself but lomo's works can't be transfer to computer. I look like part of Simpsons. Hahaha. My old shit habit came back... brutal abuser of internet for relieve.

I've not dreamt far to play in a band but I just want to realize a dream that I've longed for. Drums. Ahhh... the beauty of the hard beats.

Recently, my adorations for Lady Gaga is getting stronger and regardless how much she had worships satan, that is none of my business. I only care for her self esteem and courage which she portrayed herself into her songs but not her vids. Do come to Asia.. when I have the ability to afford her tickets. =)

Ohkaythanksbye.

late night talks

finally, i understand why models need to be skinny and tall. well, it's regardless how ridiculous the clothes were designed, it still looks stunning and gorgeous. nuff said. most importantly, a mannequin-like face is a must requirement for surviving in the modelling industry.

its official with my right hand on the mouse and the left hand learning to grip the drumstick properly. in the process of training my left hand's strength and coordination. it's tough yet it's the process of learning which i definitely enjoying beating drums. it's fucking awesome to listen to the sound of it especially when the rage is on the verge.

i had successfully baked coconut tarts and lemon coconut tarts which i fucking know how to do it. the next time, imma buying fresh cream and canned cherries or peaches for the shell tarts. how sinfully indulging can it gets, apart from eating chocolates la... i am lazy to do the photo editing and this sick phone camera of mine is getting blurry. all i have to do is improve my kneading skills for the tarts' mold.

Lemon Coconut Tarts

Coconut Tarts

it does look horrible but this is how homemade food looks like.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR NISAK!!!

Don't treat it as normal day but rather a PRINCESS DAY! You deserve it darling!

in terms of this and that, it no longer exist

I lied... I have problems settling down and I do have short span of attention, recently.. I think.

Today I wanna express my projections of impressions.

Somehow, I rather felt that I'm always being used and conned. Okay, maybe it's the way I treat them but I still believe there's no such thing as BEST FRIENDS. I would rather use CLOSE FRIENDS and somehow, betrayal happens anytime when the lust for desires get stronger.

I don't want to say much for I am a considerate person. Well, you all don't read anyways.

The answers to all these baloneys may reveal if I'm willing to find out.

Just go through all these can be a torture and mindfuck but the only thing you must do is to put on a different mask and colors (like chameleon) everyday with different type of people. As you get older, nobody wants to listen to your past unless you are Bill Gates. It's worthless for sharing for no one cares.

If it's you, then be you as long as you don't harm others. If it's not you, no matter how you tried to be different you, don't go for the efforts because that's not you. No one understand yourself other than yourself.

Nuff said. I don't intend to be emo but this is what I've been giving.

i am just being random coz i am just happen to turn to mundane

I is sad and mundane because no more laughing sources and I is bored to death. So I drink wine to see see if I can chat with anyone. I'm just being random here.

!) each time i listen to secrets by one republic, it's as if there's people dedicating this song to me. no joke.

@)during evening, i was ecstatic to go window shopping but upon reaching home and found out no ones want to have sotong kangkung for supper with me, i is so pathetic to the max.

#)why do the forum have to suspend me for fucking 7 days???? thats my current addiction and no one can cuts off mama's addiction!

$)i am fear for my coming days before the new semester begins. i don't want to grow old and rotten for the coming days. it is very depressing okay.

%)the talk of the future is killing my hopes and dreams away. what's even worst is it even kills and shreds my courage into pieces. i is scare.

^)maybe i should do something to broaden my thoughts and experiences. should i go for another self motivation trip?

&)what's the next event for me to await?

*)there's a kind of jerk acknowledge your existence but ignore your existence when both of you are in the public. that totally changed my impression of a person.

()i read an article and what it says is true. guys and girls do generate different thoughts and perceptions when it comes to interpreting message signals.

)(i hope they will listen to me and not just speaking for excessive bragging.

_) i is really bored to death without laughters and it's fucking seven days.

Just for fun 2

Got nothing best to do but to do all these shits to make myself satisfied.

let's all not be stupid to put all the eggs in a basket

So bloody fucking happy to receive a 3D football poster from my colleague. She's so thoughtful and gave me a Fernando Torres. Weeeee..........

Aku budak bahagia.

Today is such a jovial day with fucking bullshits and laughters to ease the pain of awaiting time.

Damn, it was such a frustration till I dropped the idea of making apricot/peach jam. The real frustration was ka-ching. Fucking annoyed by the limited capability I have.

These days, I'm still annoyed and irritated by the thoughts I had been mingling around and I should just wake up to live on. The earth owns a hugely terrifying diameter and I believe the world is still at it's large. Thus, there shouldn't be any particular reasons to keep me running in the same pace and falling for the hideous trap that will soon cause me to grieve over the regretted life I ever created.

Like I said before, let's all not be stupid to put all the eggs in a basket. It's totally true and the more we gently put the eggs in, the higher the possibility for those eggs to be crush by the hard cold floor. Ya get what i mean right?

For one moment, I realized that I'm actually a close person which means I hate dealings with big and unknown crowds. I'm only okay with one on one till five even with new friends. Not till the extent of being an invisible fellow right there, it scares the hell out of me. Sometimes, I do have crowds phobia and desperately wishing to go home.

Not so wisdom after all

World Cup is coming to an end and to think about it, it actually kinda sad as the moment has come. THE END OF WORLD CUP. I've been waiting for so long to embrace the moment the champions of field holding the trophy with tears of joy.

I don't even want the World Cup to END, should have drag the whole event duration at most 2 months for everyone's satisfactions yearning for more.

Finally, they took down the billboard and World Cup is only coming to an end not already end. Why too early? Now, it demotivates me from everything, it's my source power every morning. Damn!

Mystery solved: Finally, I found the causes of the torment pain in my teeth each time I take food with sticky and sweet form.

This is how it happens:-

Once upon an evening, I was looking at the mirror examining my teeth, putting my fingers to check my teeth alignment (I've not put on my retainers for sometime) and lastly, I press my fingers on to my proud wisdom tooth. Goddamn, it hurts like shit! I can feel the vine of sensors are visible upon the eroded tooth. I even pick up some pieces of eroded tooth. My wisdom tooth that bears during my age of 16 and now, it gives me a big pain in the vines. I'm not so wise at all. My tooth!!!!

This explains:-

the pain each time I took a bite on sweet and sticky food but my wisdom tooth barely grow 1cm!!!!!!!!

Really fucking shit.

I've to admit, I've teeth problems ever since primary school and prolong till now. Argh... I couldn't even believe that I actually had to put on braces for one year and a half. My most troublesome part of body is my teeth. Ever since primary school, I've got many holes to be cement and each year my visit to the dentist is always without fail. Nabeh!

I've been drinking milk for calcium. It didn't help that much.

I've been eating lesser sugar. Still erode.

I need to sought dentist but it's already in a serious damage condition. What's worst it happens to be a tiny wisdom tooth and the pain is getting drastic.

No more conspiracy theories

Portugal had finally draw tie with Samba Kings, Brazil. Nonetheless, both of them still make it to the round 16, the scarier part was the losing team shall be eliminated in the round 16. Despite the match drew 0-0 which has proven that Portugal had defended well in the battle. I fucking hate C.Ronaldo being the captain and he did not get any ball near to a fucking goal post. It should be Simao or R.Carvalho being the leader for their country. Who's that fucking retard chose him to be the captain?

The professional had concluded the statistics of ball possession during the match, I don't fucking understand why they underestimate Portugal by just merely giving away a figure of 30%-40%.

Portugal's ball possession was 39% for the maximum and 32% for minimum. Meanwhile, Brazil has got 60% to 70% figure. Yet, Portugal had been playing well although there were some missing passings to their members.

However, I was drawing my own theory as well and the real question of Portugal's strategy:

*If Portugal could defeat DPR Korea with a 7-0 but why Portugal couldn't shoot a goal during the Ivory Coast's match? Instead they drew a 0-0 and there weren't much effort in that game as well.

*However, Brazil could have easily pulled down Ivory Coast with a 3-1 result and also DPR Korea with 2-1 as well.

*This also proven DPR Korea had the level equally with Brazil but a shameful lost with Portugal by 7-0.

Then, I begin to make comparison all of Portugal's match against Ivory Coast, DPR Korea and Brazil.

You see, the match between IC, the efforts Portugal gave wasn't 100% and they were running as slow as they could to defend for a draw instead of winnings. They actually had lots of opportunities.

It's either they received a wake up call upon the draw with IC or they were shielding their strengths. During the battle with DPR Korea, so many efforts and tricks were premiering resulting a 7-0.

If both of those matches they've won, they could have move to no.1 in Group G.

My fear came for Portugal when they were against Brazil. Surprisingly, they concluded a draw with nil-nil. Despite Brazil being rank world no. 1, the defense from Portugal were as good as a fortress.

NO MORE ASSUMPTIONS:

The fixture of the round 16 which is by eliminating the rival regardless of draws. Portugal is now facing Spain in the KO STAGE! Boohoo! Argh... Spain should have just remain as runner up instead of moving up to first place. Now, they have to face Portugal, world ranking no. 3 vs world ranking no. 2. If Portugal eliminated, I'll definitely cry. Really fucking frustrating. If Spain eliminated, I don't feel like watching FIFA 2010 anymore. Can't they switch place and battle against other countries instead of their very own neighbour country?

Portugal did not expect Spain to top their own group and now they have to face each other.

Here's something I don't understand why they change the color of it, after all, it's unique and attractive.

Year 2006's jersey colors. Maroon.

The current jerseys.

Completely Red: Home

White with vertical stripes (green and red): Away

The white one ain't that normal looking but the red one looks like England's away jersey.

Something adorable makes me laugh and I swear it's unbelievably adorable and silly especially Messi....

HAHAHAHA (Part 1)

HAHAHAHA (Part 2)

Enjoy

Peter Crouch is actually handsome and they kept reserving him at the bench when they praised he's a good footballer.

Adorable isn't it?

Go Matadors!

England suck big time

Football woes...

Apparently, I had placed my bets yesterday, Argentina to hold the World Cup 2010 Trophy. Portugal oh Portugal, you can only move forward but the trophy is still far away from your hands. Nonetheless, I will support you till the very end.

This time around, there are so many draws and shocking winnings from countries we never thought of. Such as Greece losing, Spain's lost, Germany's lost, Portugal's draw and etc.

Well, for England, as usual, they are the running flower vase in the field. There's nothing much they can do, I don't blame the goalkeeper for his clown mistakes. Apparently, I can see all the other players in the field are running without effort. They seems to be waiting for each other to either defend or strike. C'mon la, automatic a bit la.

England fans must've been down for the draw when they draw the assumptions of the scoreline like 2-0, 3-0, 2-1 and etc. Even the commentators draw their statistics with 3-0.

Lesson to be learn: Anything can happen in every minute and every second.