Positive Side

Alright. The Japanese Culture Week seems to be a success and I managed to congratulate Ken and he actually remembered the birthday presents that my buddies and I bought for him. Well, happy belated birthday to Ken. He promised me to allow me to touch his camera. (Ken, I remembered that ya!)

So, Bing Hung was right. I've been receiving too much negative energy that made me become so emotional. Therefore, he gave me the Chicken Soup of receiving positive energy and it made sense to me. Praise more, help more and be even more positive. Yup. I've been like a spoil brat for whining unnecessary things.

I've got everything back to make it happen and the only thing I need to do it fast is ... (damn, I'm shy to say this and I'm afraid I might cause a misunderstanding between me and someone) CONFESSING. Yea, that thing has been trap inside me for so long... I chickened out, freaked out, doubted it and thus, I'm agonizing it almost everyday.

Today, I had confidence to make it happen but things don't seems to be going well. So glad to see that person at the almost end of the day... I expect to say it at the end of my very last class but who knew I blew the bloody chance. Now, I feel like banging my head on to the wall to make myself realize and wake up.

The incident was like this,
I waited at the staircase and I couldn't find him. Thinking that he might be in the lift. I waited and walked off alone. I mumbled and scolded myself for blowing the chance away. Is it that hard to wait for him at the staircase or the lift? Is it that hard to call him to join me the walk to the stupid car park? Why lar?

It's either I bet it for once or quit it. So, I decided to bet it for once. I'm fully prepared that it might not be a happy ending as I could see the symptoms. At least, I'm letting go another stone. Besides, I had predicted that things might not be usual anymore. I can see that things are getting bland and I don't know why. It could be me for being such... I don;t know lar. I'm fine so far.

This guy is smart right.. It is either he pretends to be woody or he is just sick woody. Things had been so ironic. It could have been the fate or god forbid me to do so. I tried to be less obvious but the less I do, the even obvious that the 3rd person can see. So, I tried to stay neutral as I want to keep his privacy and dignity. You can call me cold alright but I have my own reasons. I tried not to be passionate as I already scared him off. Well, he doesn't look like that kind of person. He's a mature thinking guy.

Sometimes, I can feel that he's the one who is confusing me. Messing my head. Perhaps I went far beyond my imaginations. I get worried many times which I really do care what he does. But, I don't want to ask his whereabouts and that's because I'm respecting his privacy. Agh... this is so confusing. Me is confuse. I barely knew him a year and this is what I got myself into.

To prove the wrong facts, men can be confusing. Not women. All his actions and movements are messing with my head.

Recently, I found out that both of us have turn bland. I don't know what to do as me is confuse. Yes... confuse. Don't know what to do next. I just want to confess and that's it. I won't be expecting too much already.

Anyone of you who read this post, please just give me moral support. Otherwise, I might suffer. I'll stay on to the positive side.

Susu, if you're reading this. Please bless me alright.

I might go down or up and I'll stay over the bright side. Seriously, another stone to let go indicates I'm lighten my burdens.