Depression

Yesterday, I was reading a book called "AM I OKAY?"...something like psychiatrist or psychology book.

I've a vision that anyone who hold that book is gonna receive weird stare and looks but I don't give a fuck about it.

I've to say that everyone is not okay in terms of spiritually. Me..am not okay after all.

The first chapter caught my eyes. ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

I've got to admit that I'm indeed depressed but not suffering from major depression which requires medication. Depression can come in many forms...or mainly stress.

I've picked out one line...
We are born too helpless to survive without the nurturance derived from mutual mum/ child delight. Love offers a hostage to fate.
I agreed..oh...should I call myself pessimist?
Too bad I am cause I always prepare for the worst even though I knew the impact on me is gonna be deep.

I've also found another line, the symptoms of the victim that was diagnosed with major depression:
He said:
my mind...no longer found anything interesting or enjoyable or worth- while. I was incapable of concentrated thought...and was totally exhausted...could scarcely pull myself out of bed in the mornings. It took me twice as long to walk again, as it was otherwise too much of an effort to make a decision about what to put on. I dreaded having to talk with people, avoided my friends whenever possible and sat in the school library in the early mornings and late afternoons, with a dead heart and a brain as cold as clay.

I, once thought that what kept me moving on?

Have I found answers...?
Almost and it was located everywhere.
That is why I had turned myself to be so discrete in everything.
Simple things but extraordinary stories.
I paid attention to every details that I find it amazing in daily life.
That made me draw a smile on my face.
And I'm thankful for those...even strangers.
I see and watch many things each glance.
It was my loved ones that kept me moving on...not exquisite things (they only make me happy temporarily)
You know who you are...

So, it is okay for me to say that I'm not okay as I believed that most of you all are not okay. Just mild depression will do.

Venting your anger and depress will relief yourself from being tied up. There are many ways to vent them. I chose...many ways to vent them.


I am emotional and I admit it cause I knew so much things in life. Even though I'm trying to escape my zaman kegelapan with little bits of healing aids from here and there but courage is still needed to stand up to ward off that fear.
Now, I'll wake up every morning and tell myself 'remember to smile today'.