Saturday, July 4, 2009

After all this ranting days

It's been a week after the tragic and sudden death of the Legendary star that shocked the whole world. News, gossips and tabloids are everywhere regardless of the originality and the truth of the content. It's absolutely wild and crazy but for one thing that's real is that he really wrote the HIStory of entertainment and mankind. Every fan around the world are still sadden by his sudden gone without saying a warm goodbye. Every fan also claimed that his death is like losing a friend or a family. However, most of them still live in with his spirit and his legacy. Like any other fans, I'm also shocked and surreal. He brought the influence and inspire people (to be his impersonator). A senseless wake has puzzling me, is that his call in the middle of the dawn? The time of his death is my wake up call that print the mark on to my face. Time to make changes.

Recently, I've not been updating here and for the whole week, I've been questioning and doubting about myself. After writing those essays for the scholarship, life to me has been so cynical. After watching Oprah interviewing young multi- millionaires, I felt so useless. I took a walk previewing my life, I felt empty. I saw myself acting childishly on the other side of the corner, looking and observing myself. Asking myself, why it won't occur? Do I have the fate to indulge whatever I yearn for?
I'm thankful enough to be alive for two decades. People tell me wonderful stories from their past. Meanwhile, I sit there and listen to their wonderful stories. What strikes me the most is my achievement. What have I done to make myself proud after living for two decades?

Being a fulltime day dreamer ever since child has draw the picture of my future. I recalled that I've been dreaming of owning a cottage in the woods with tame bushes and wild colors of flowers (imagine Sleeping Beauty's little cottage). Then, it got upgraded by moving in to Greece. The island with blocks of houses. Slowly, it evolves to NY penthouse. I asked myself and the answer has not find it's way to my questions. So, after all this ranting days, I'm still lost. In need to sought my solace.

Many obstacles had emerged recently. It's either a training for me or it was meant to stop me. Let's embrace life with optimism shall we?


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