Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fuck it and Move it

My first failure for my mid term in my first degree year. It was Marketing paper. Okay... that I totally blame on myself. I did my assignments in last minute and I did not have enough time to study well. I don't know why. Is it because I spend too much time on unnecessary stuffs?
I really can't bear to see all my precious marks dropping drastically. I have my standards to maintain it and keep on increasing.
My emotions had been so tensed up. Well, it was because... and I can't reason it. I do not have the guts to conceive another failure. Haha...
I was checking my mid term marks and I could have guess that I failed. Yea. *cheerios*. I took up the nerves to stand up and motivate myself harder.
Then, I began to preview my activities that I had done and I realized.
I wanna quit. Quit from all the unnecessary activities as I had laid my majority commitment towards my academics and family.
I am and was incapability of arranging my daily routines and always having problem with all my homework. I was never the best among the rest but I am proud to say that I've done my best and I've done it with all my diligence. However, one is always never satisfy and I'm always trying to strive to achieve higher or should I say strive for higher achievements? Never mind that.
Mum was right. I shouldn't have taken the position at the first place and now, what I got myself into. She knew I have so many things to do and I was greedy for something sweet. Yet, it is unethical for me to quit (according to the person in charge). Irresponsible.
Now, I'm facing a bigger issue : HOW TO SOAR WITHIN A MONTH PLUS for my ACADEMICS.
As a fact, I never own a good brains. I worked hard to go that far and I would like to emphasize again that I couldn't afford to see my beloved numbers to fall just like that. *sigh*. I should have listen to mum.
So, before I finish blabbing, whining, sobering or whatsoever, I want to claim that I could have done better for my marketing paper if I was given more time to deal with it.
Therefore, to the person in charge, I would like to say sorry if my tasks are slow in progress as I have many things to do deal with and bad time management.
I also would like to apologize to anyone if I ever done any silly things that had affected you mentally or physically.

Psst: I procrastinate a lot just to relax.

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