late night talks

finally, i understand why models need to be skinny and tall. well, it's regardless how ridiculous the clothes were designed, it still looks stunning and gorgeous. nuff said. most importantly, a mannequin-like face is a must requirement for surviving in the modelling industry.

its official with my right hand on the mouse and the left hand learning to grip the drumstick properly. in the process of training my left hand's strength and coordination. it's tough yet it's the process of learning which i definitely enjoying beating drums. it's fucking awesome to listen to the sound of it especially when the rage is on the verge.

i had successfully baked coconut tarts and lemon coconut tarts which i fucking know how to do it. the next time, imma buying fresh cream and canned cherries or peaches for the shell tarts. how sinfully indulging can it gets, apart from eating chocolates la... i am lazy to do the photo editing and this sick phone camera of mine is getting blurry. all i have to do is improve my kneading skills for the tarts' mold.

Lemon Coconut Tarts

Coconut Tarts

it does look horrible but this is how homemade food looks like.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR NISAK!!!

Don't treat it as normal day but rather a PRINCESS DAY! You deserve it darling!

in terms of this and that, it no longer exist

I lied... I have problems settling down and I do have short span of attention, recently.. I think.

Today I wanna express my projections of impressions.

Somehow, I rather felt that I'm always being used and conned. Okay, maybe it's the way I treat them but I still believe there's no such thing as BEST FRIENDS. I would rather use CLOSE FRIENDS and somehow, betrayal happens anytime when the lust for desires get stronger.

I don't want to say much for I am a considerate person. Well, you all don't read anyways.

The answers to all these baloneys may reveal if I'm willing to find out.

Just go through all these can be a torture and mindfuck but the only thing you must do is to put on a different mask and colors (like chameleon) everyday with different type of people. As you get older, nobody wants to listen to your past unless you are Bill Gates. It's worthless for sharing for no one cares.

If it's you, then be you as long as you don't harm others. If it's not you, no matter how you tried to be different you, don't go for the efforts because that's not you. No one understand yourself other than yourself.

Nuff said. I don't intend to be emo but this is what I've been giving.

Ranting for aging

Apparently, I'm not on my report and it's still undone. In case you concern, it's only 50% done.

I intend to sleep early, okay, hopefully I'm able to finish blogging within minutes... urm... 30mins earlier to bed.. makes sense right?

Recently, I'm addicted to The Fray, The Arctic Monkeys, Panic! At the disco (all over again) and Lady Gaga songs. Lady Gaga... her songs are all what she can create and if you are thinking about illuminati, sorry, I don't give a fuck and damn what her lyrics are talking about, I'm just only enjoying the rhythm she had formed. As if you care...

What I'm suffering now is dilemma.. I had bought all the ingredients needed for cooking but I just do not know what to cook. I've been browsing all the recipes and none of them are giving me inspirations to cook. So, I shall just go with the flow with all the ingredients I've bought.

Everyone kept asking me what am I doing at home right now?

Ans: goyang kaki. Don't tell me it's fucking relaxing and cool. It's forwarding my aging process and I hate that. I don't feel lively at all. Apart from the internet being my current best friend, what I've left is the Astro, reading materials and my undone home projects.

In order for me not to sound like a spoiled brat, I came up with activities to do for pleasing leisure and since no one wants to go for a trip at the mean time so I have to learn to find something for myself.

A note to me, you and everyone

Okayh,

I am in the midst of reporting my activities during interns and I came here by accident to express my fatigue of looking at the incomplete report.

Seriously, I want to go to my bedroom, continue reading my books and fall asleep yet the burden of this final piece before I'm officially lay to rest is bugging me. I can't believe the procrastination old habit has finally kicking in back again. It's 1am plus and I should be in the bed with my reading materials. Now, this explains why internet and computer can be harmful and addictive, physically and mentally. It also finally explains why I refused to read anymore books, thanks the information technology era.

Recently, I gave myself so much thoughts through cooking and realized that being immature at this age is not gonna standout oneself in the crowds. If you are still being subjected to your lost for your real desires and dreams, you are still lost. It's true.

If you are still being childish and immature while completing your chapters of life, I suggest you do not be in what you see peer pressure for you're not ready to take control of your life. That signals your readiness for leading your own life. You..... are just not ready.

Love yourself more than anyone else for no one else can do better than you do.

Nothing wrong for being emo, go sit at the corner and draw circles. Do as much thinking as you can. Life is short but let's not chase time, we shall miss everything if we keep chasing time. Be who you are and what you really are. Show the world how you can pull it off. The world is still at it's large, why worry?

Okayh,

I must get back to my fucking reporting.

So long Farewell

Apparently I am not heartache anymore. Like Beatles- Let It Be, if it's not meant for me regardless of how hard I tried, it still won't work for me even if I own it. So, why still mingling the fucking small thought when the world is still round and it's large?

Somehow, I came up of something to fulfill what I wanna do and what I ever dream of though I may be not afford to own it but it's part of it and I am bloody fucking happy.

Today also mark the end of my internship. I shall miss dearly my colleagues and the routines of how I was always rushing to the office. Sleeping for 30mins before the market runs. Starring outside of the window to check the weather, traffic and sial people's parking. Planning for activities after work. Enjoying talking cocks and bulls with colleagues. Planning what to have for lunch. Change departments for fun. ETC ETC.

I thank all of you for having the patience and kindness towards me. Although I knew I did made plenty of careless mistakes but you all were still there to teach and explain to me patiently. We went through the ups and downs like the stock market's volatility. Together we have seen the faces of shitty people and angelic like people. However, it's still the matter of the destiny that had brought us together. We shall meet again.

"People come into our lives in exchange of pen to write our stories and before we leave, we mark down our signatures for a sign of remembrance. Some might leave our canvas with colors, some might leave with just sketches, some might leave with barely scribbles and some might leave us with dots. No matter what we shall remember each other for every meet will always come to an end. However, memory stays forever." By- Danielle (and that's me)!

I'm indeed bored to the extent of spamming everyone's inbox. Should spend lesser time on FB and spend more on something necessary.

So, I is singing... Teenage Dream- Katy Perry, Arctic Monkeys' Songs and music that pleases my ears!

Just a little bit sleepy thats all.

I just don't understand how downloading Pitbull's songs came across my mind but most probably coz I needed to satisfy my pleasure and download all shits into the computer.

I still think 'Secrets'- One Republic spurs emotions to me for I feel as if there's someone dedicating this song secretly.

Anyways, I'm still awaiting the time to come for lifting my suspension status in my laughing source. have to wait till 12.22 am. Yet, I'm sleepy and I can't wait anymore.

What's even worse is that my report has been on for days and nights and barely make it to the 50% of completion. I just reluctant to do it and it really pissed me off each time I see it coz I can't think of anything to crap.

So, Jon, if you're reading this... I've to tell ya that I'm so happy to see you coz I is alone... urm.. ok, lonely.

Straight to boredom's hell if it wasn't for my walk in the mall.

I'm whining about my fucking boredom, maybe feeling a bit pathetic for no one wants to accompany me for outing. I always have to do it alone. I browsed and screened through all my contacts... ticked and crossed on my friends' availability. Sadly, in the end, I'm still doing it as a loner.

At the end of the day, I went for grocery shopping to get inspirations... I did, making salads and appetizers for everyone. It's somehow a dream that I wish it could come true in the near future. Anyways, I found out that it's easy to prepare mash potatoes with the gravy as well. Okay, the salads I prepared was a larger portions so everyone could feed themselves with healthy salads instead of eating their daily staple food. By the way, it's enough to stuff them full.

First, I call it Potato meets Spirals that comes with Italian's spiral pasta with sliced cocktail sausages.

Second, I call it Romanies' Mystery that's cause I insert a special oil origin from the Orient.

Lastly, Cheesy Mash. The title says it all what I've insert in to name the dish.

Finally, I didn't know there's good food in Machap Baru and I feel like satisfying my adrenaline rush to drive down there. You've no idea how exciting it could be driving to Machap Baru. You've no idea at all okay! It's fucking awesome if I have good engines and able to fully control the stability of the steering wheel.

Few days ago, I did enjoyed my lunch/tea in Dr. Cafe. Simply marvelous after I discover what's steamed cider and good oreo cheesecake and please don't compare with Secret Recipe's one coz I think theirs are produced from candy confectioneries which has zero existence of layer feeling taste in their cakes. Sadly, it's only the cake that can accommodate everyone's impressions.

I am still reciprocating my suspended account in my laughing sources website. I is fucking sad. Now, I admit how addictive it can be and how I miss it so much.

i am just being random coz i am just happen to turn to mundane

I is sad and mundane because no more laughing sources and I is bored to death. So I drink wine to see see if I can chat with anyone. I'm just being random here.

!) each time i listen to secrets by one republic, it's as if there's people dedicating this song to me. no joke.

@)during evening, i was ecstatic to go window shopping but upon reaching home and found out no ones want to have sotong kangkung for supper with me, i is so pathetic to the max.

#)why do the forum have to suspend me for fucking 7 days???? thats my current addiction and no one can cuts off mama's addiction!

$)i am fear for my coming days before the new semester begins. i don't want to grow old and rotten for the coming days. it is very depressing okay.

%)the talk of the future is killing my hopes and dreams away. what's even worst is it even kills and shreds my courage into pieces. i is scare.

^)maybe i should do something to broaden my thoughts and experiences. should i go for another self motivation trip?

&)what's the next event for me to await?

*)there's a kind of jerk acknowledge your existence but ignore your existence when both of you are in the public. that totally changed my impression of a person.

()i read an article and what it says is true. guys and girls do generate different thoughts and perceptions when it comes to interpreting message signals.

)(i hope they will listen to me and not just speaking for excessive bragging.

_) i is really bored to death without laughters and it's fucking seven days.

Life is really short and we have to admit that

Humans would not suffer the agony and pain if their desires aren't growing.

Seven sins that enthrall our life with the desires and dreams formed by the reality.

The more we capture the world, the more our inner desires bud.

Living simple was never enough for all of us.

Our dreams began to expand further.

We fight with blood, sweat and tears to reach for the top.

Some win the war with all their winnings.

Some win the war with their trophies but they lost their love trophies.

Some lost the war leaving anything with them.

Some lost the war but they gain with other trophies.

To survive and stay to the top, we need to step out and execute actions that we dislike.

We have no options but to keep ourselves to stay alive.

Quit asking why is the world unfair, the world is always unjust and it is ourselves to make it just and worthwhile.

Go ahead and do what we yearn for the mother nature shall not stay too long this way forever.

Life is short and we have to admit that.

U just wasted another of ur 10 mins to read.

Today,....

Okay, I was humiliated and embarrassed by myself, thanks to my absent minded brain.

UNO- I was embarrassed with myself for not going back along with my bags and leaving it behind. In the end, I had second trip all the way down to pick my bags 3 hours later.

DUO- I was humiliated for my stubbornness on the road causing my time to be wasted.

TRES- I was embarrassed by my stupidity in front of the public that causes giggles and laughs.

QUART- I called no one but you for help and that is embarrassing. I sounded like a BIMBO myself and I couldn't believe with myself either. I called no one but YOU and only asking some silly help. FUCK!

The end. Getting lethargic due to the reciprocal of shit habits.

Ok, thanks, bye