sorry, a bit depress and low at this moment

Stupidity cut half

So, yesterday I wasn't satisfied with my stupidity for not using a pan to hold the lemon 'custard'. This time I found one and it's round, ok, less frustration than yesterday, at least. It would be better if it's a rectangle or square and line in with a sheet of parchment. Buttered the pan was useless or maybe it was round.

This time around, I got the taste right, what's wrong is that partial of the crust are stick on to the pan and the lemon filling is not really firmly stick onto the shortbread which I think it's because I baked the crust too long.

But, it was a tiny success for the family almost finish it and I reserved some for breakfast. The bigger failure was the wrongs that I mentioned.

I shall try again coz I'm gonna make one for XX and her mom. Heee. But my family loves it, so I feel proud of thyself. I love lemons recently.

*recently, i giggled too much in front of the screen and thanks to the forum. i laughed hard but i is happy.

I did really screw the lemon bars, kitchen is a not the major victim.

So I did mentioned to screw up the kitchen and I did with minimal wastage.

The timeline had passed so it should all be YESTERDAY.

In the morning, I baked lemon bars, the dough a.k.a. shortbread was a success. What cause the failure was the stupidity strikes where the pan is there instead I use a tray even after watching videos for demonstration. So, the tastes are precisely good but the look was a failure. LEMON BARS PHAIL.

Suppose to look like this... but I got trashy one.

So, I don't believe my stupidity will continued this way and I tried making dinner for all. Menu: Potato Salad with chicken sausage and pasta AND Bacon in pita pocket.

I used barbecue sauce for spread and Italian herbs for enhancing the taste for Bacon in pita pocket. It was a success coz preparing sandwiches and salads is easy.

Potato Salad with chicken sausage and pasta

Bacon in pita pocket

But lemon bars PHAIL. I is sad but I is proud coz dinner is fawesome.

Kthxbye

I got nothing best to do but to screw up the kitchen

The menu:

Potatoes salad with colorful pastas and chicken cocktail sausages

Bacon leafy sandwiches

Egg puddings/flan

Lemon Bars

I am very clueless but all I know is Imma gonna do groceries shopping for my pleasure. Need a checklist.

I is goin to build sandwiches for weekend. I is also goin to build lemon cookies for fun.

Bear my retard language.

Daddy approved my banana cake and it's qualified by cutting half of all the ingredients.

Just for fun 2

Got nothing best to do but to do all these shits to make myself satisfied.

Just for fun

Gah! I'm so fucking lazy!

Thank goodness my branch manager concerned my final report for my internship. Poop!

How long am I suppose to procrastinate this round?

I haven't even open the fucking layout to check it out. I've got like estimated 20++ pages to print and have it sign by my branch manager.

Was browsing somewhere and I found this hair look. Fawesome! She calls it dippin with soy sauce, a Japanese soy sauce. I call it wickered. Maybe I can dip it with chili sauce or sambal?

女人最痛。壹

杜丹花儿在旺开，

巅峰已到朝，

引众来目花儿，

时间不留人，

只能留最美的意，

时间默默的过，

杜丹花儿慢慢的凋谢，

旺盛季节已过，

短暂的艳丽，

只能停留眼前，

短暂的命，

只能到此为止，

杜丹花儿的悲哀。

喜欢上一个不领情的人。贰

当你喜欢上一个对你冷淡，而他只是一种礼貌的对待你，你就不小心自以为他是有意思的对你好（他所谓的礼貌）。

你就偷偷地喜欢上他，希望来了，黑暗的日子就要结速了， 寂寞芳心终于打开了，人生悲哀的故事终有个happily ever after。

但所谓的万中之一扁扁就是要降落在你身上。 当你要从单单的日子而走出双双对对的生活，你才发现原来他所作所为只是个他基本的人生观念（我不是指花花公子）。

后来，你开始忧郁，烦恼，談生憾气而问千千百百个为生么，自己那里出错。 不久你很想蹦贵的大哭问自己为什么那么天真，那么蠢，自己为什么不早点相遇，那么傻，问为什么每一次都会遇到这样的遭遇。

每一天想要追相大白却没那个勇气的走前一步。

每天都在问人生有几个机会。

日子开始变灰暗就像天晴变天黑。

当你开始想要个答案，最痛心的真相却到了自己的眼前，他的眼里已有别人了，那个人的确不是你。第二度的蹦贵马上就要开始，只能无能为力的哭笑不得。大家就开始疏远对方了。这就是喜欢上个不领情的人的后果。

久而久之你就开始放下了希望，勇敢的走前一步，就是把任务赶快完成希望把那个复杂的结打开。慢慢地开始把人生的每一天塞满了计划。但渴望的心愿任然在世，还信终有一天来个如意。为了一个不领情的人而改变自己变得黑暗，值得吗？他到底值多少使让你那么想拥他呢？不如先开始把周围爱你的，呵护你的，深深地关心你的，保护你的人爱吧。这样人生才值得的活着。

你没犯错只错在大家表错情。曾经拥有这个道理你已明白。过去就让他过去毕竟你已是个大人了。这个世界还是很大的。

*本小姐不是天生的拥有妙语如珠的嘴，请多多包含。

喜欢上一个不领情的人

One step backward and move to a different direction. Thats all I can say. I really wanna go to cinema alone to be with myself for a moment.

Radical women for their life statement and it is still a success

Apart from Lady Gaga's numerous outrageous fashion statement, she has shown to the world what the fuck is courage by walking down on a street with a lobster as her accessories on her head. What's even impressive is that her confidence is still as high as usual without breaking the limits to ego. She is still herself unlike the Disney stars.

Other than that, nominated in the Song of the year won by Cyndi Lauper, Time after Time. She did dyed her hair with different colors and owned a radical fashion statement back then. Ya know, paparazzis and the norms those days aren't as radical as today. Unique. Though, she's not really pretty but she is one of a kind.

Today, I bump onto Agyness Deyn while passing by the perfume section. With only one glance, I knew it's her.

Please help to spam!!!

Dear all,

You leave me no choice but to pester you all to kindly help me to spam this survey form. Please do help to fill in and pass it around to anyone.

Spam This Survey Form

Pretty Please!

=)

Northern Xinjiang. Forget the riots and let's go there.=!

It's lucky for me to flip the newspaper today and stumble upon a place that really looks like my fairytale.

It's Northern Xinjiang, don't ask me where but that place it's fill with magnificent mountains, mysterious flower fields and sparkling mirror-like rivers. It's stunning and even stunning than Bali, I guess. Forget the riots and chaos created from the disputes among themselves, we can't even lend a hand to them so let's go there and be at peace. Feast for the eyes.

It really fishes my soul away for I'm not the type of scenery viewing person. Once again, it really depicts my so call fairy tale, much better than New Zealand. My imaginary jigsaw puzzle. If only I can fly to Northern Xinjiang right now to heal all the sorrows.

Most importantly, these kids look healthy living in such serene environment. Simple is happiness.

Back when I isolated myself

Yes, I'm gonna be the homemaker for the weekends, if you're wondering, it's not cleaning but rather making the house more appealing with the five senses, I mean literally.

How do you like my world my to be? I love myself more than anyone cause my soul have been seeded into this physical body so I have the responsibility to pamper and care for myself with the appropriation of course. A definite of white and black.

It's been so long that I've not embed a video. This time around it's not really a video but a song instead. This really brought back my memories when I was a mildly isolated and needed this to heal thyself. Yuna's Ballad.

Random 10

I'm back with my random thoughts again and this time around, please listen or just be understandable.

#1

This is not a secret anymore, more likely of a fact that's revolving throughout the whole life.

Yes, I suck and I can sense that I'm a real failure for all these love shits.

a. I fall for a person that's really contradicting with my characters.

b. I met the right person but at the wrong time.

c. I fall for the right person but I'm too late.

d. I met the wrong person at the right time.

Totally embarrassed with my failure, I've met many people and how could I not have the chance to be love. I don't know if I should cry or laugh with all these total failures. Just like the song 'Reasons to Love'- Meiko, there shouldn't be any reasons to be in love. How can anyone just land into a relationship easily? Overall, I suck ok. End of #1.

#2

I've temper and please don't test my limited patience. I've done nothing wrong and I am a very considerate person. If you don't tell me what restrictions you would like restrain, I'm sorry but I can't help to be myself and do it on my very own way. Don't let me turn to a freaking ugly bitch for you!

#3

I want to be a homemaker for the time being to fill up my fucking mind with useful stuff instead of sitting down looking up at the skies and awaiting for a day to end, not my routine everyday.

#4

I'm not the pedophile vampire like Edward Cullen, I can't read your mind. Please refer to #2.

#5

Stupidities never fail to occur in my daily life. No matter what I see and experience, I'm always the one that's been shot simultaneously with another third shooter. Imagine snipers, unaware of the presence till the actions begin.

#6

Recently, there's this popular Korean boy band and the name is Lucifer??? Isn't that's the name of devil and don't anyone suspect that they might have deal with devil? A trade for fame with the devil? Maybe they worship devil? I'm bias am I?

#7

I don't feel satisfied with what I've accomplish and I feel nothing at all. Yet, I'm not ready to push myself out of the comfort zone and there's fear of making a move forward for there's no turning back. The more I search for future, the more I fear.

#8

Do you think I'm matured?

#9

I've only got one mission to accomplish and then I'll really feel relieve. Only one and I am not greedy anymore. I only yearn for relief.

#10

Just to make it so nicely done, I shall insert 10. To sum it all up, I really suck and I'm already 21, still feeling sad and pathetic with no luck at all. No fucking luck in meeting the right person.

when you turn this ) to (

I can really feel the pain and it is really absurd for me to be involve in such unconditional return infatuation.

Yes, I'm rather silly.

It all happens naturally and my thoughts began expand to somewhere unrelated. That's coz I fear of being too late.

Perhaps, the time has come

As I tried to grab the offer and it turns out the offer is going away further to someone's else hand. Leaving me empty handed and lost. Do I deserve the offer?

I took a step back and letting my hands down watching the offer walking away far from my sight. Before I came to realize that it's not the end yet, the time has not come and I still have the time to see before I regret forever. What I really need to do is to do what I'm suppose to do before my sorrows and regrets come and haunt my near future. I really believe there shall be a better offer in the near future but what's in the present should be accomplish before I end up in bitter.

Perhaps, it's the time to step forward and go for it. What's in the present need to be done but I wouldn't dare to see what the future behold for I only wish for a better everyday.

it's here

The dreamy offer of such treatment is already here but it doesn't belong to mine, neither yet nor now. I was given a free trial treatment offer in a such where I was being naive and foolish.

Now, I've to consider if I should or shouldn't grab for it as I wasn't sure of my level of commitments and what kind of returns I could harvest. I wouldn't dare to ask for more as long as it's a conditional return in a mutual way. Although the infatuations had been slowly built up but somewhere the journey to the peak is not as smooth as I expected, obstacles slowly rising. The offer could either reject or accept me for it needs to be mutual to harvest a fruitful results. Could it be the mind that's refusing to face the coming obstacles? Could it be the inabilities to ward off the obstacles refusing myself to continue racing to the peak?

Though every moment of staying in the peak will not last long, but I secretly wish it could last longer.

At times, I would secretly cry over my limited courage to go for the offer, which I ended up with sorrows and regrets, temporarily. I've fallen for the offer, could it be a scam? Do I need to step out of the offer game? Should I look for other offer? What if I couldn't find a better offer?

All these answers are definitely not absolute for we don't know what the future holds, the decisions are decided by us, with the determination, there shall be no regrets for what we had done.

Right now, I still need to consider the offer that's right now when the only thing I'm awaiting is the conditional reply. The fear is still there and everyone hates it.