When your heart is missing- Rooney

Done! Another four years of studying for tertiary education has been passed. While my friends are sobering for their past days, I sit here telling myself, it's another process that everyone is compulsory to experience, DEPARTURE. Experienced it before and it wasn't a good feeling and process to undergo. Yet, as time goes by we tend to forget each other soon but only concentrating on what's ahead in our life. The goals and missions that we yearn to achieve.

Again, with the help of StumbleUpon, I found Tiny Buddha for enlightening my current situation.

Yes, I'm in the midst of facing situations that is gonna affect the future. Lost and might be find back in the matter of time.

I don't feel like babbling anymore. Kthxbye.

Say When- The Fray

I'm feeling so fucked up with my paper just now.

It was obvious that tips were given and don't know why I just couldn't somehow recall the materials I had read.

Few minutes ago, was flipping through my notes and I began to feel fucked up again. I saw the tips and it was right there.. the answers I should have answered in the paper. Damn! My marks are gone just like that.

Previously, Credit Management had made me kept my fears and worries of taking the supplementary paper again. Apparently, thank God, I passed. Now, Financial Derivatives, I know I had done badly for the mid-term and now, the finals. FML!

The feeling is like you knew it was there but you couldn't recall if it was there. This morning I was clearly in the car reading, scheming and scanning through all the important notes that I made last night.



Damn! My confidence has gone. Argh.. it made me rage and mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The second paper right now is even worse, no tips given and you have to bloody read all the 5 chapters with only a day and few hours to spend.

I can only put the blame on myself for not being determine and diligent enough. Blame myself for not knowing the consequences of future.

Now the most important question, how to get rich and build cacao empire in the future??????????

Muz fohkus on cahkao empihyer

Flashing Lights- Kanye West

i ain't want to be another sober for my peer's life.

i live my life and i choose my way to live it. i may be sober, depress, bipolar, happy, ecstatic and nuts. yet, i don't give one fucking damn to everything that happens around.

that's cos i'm the ruler of my life. i see peers were mutually agreeing with each other on some shit stuff, i walk off and give pffft.
to be honest, i'm the most fucking awesome person in the world.
i have no lover, i have no best friends, i have no pets but i have my family. most of all, i have the big heart in me.

Apart from achieving successions in life, drums are my next dream.

Around the World- Daft Punk

Today had a clear and simple fun day.

an hour ago, i made my own cocktail that is with vodka grapefruit + soda water + sunkist orange = awesome. the real fact is i bought the wrong flavor of vodka and it tasted like medicine so much that i don't even feel like touching it tho the bottle is beautiful.

i went for grocery shopping today coz i'm making soba mee tomorrow yo, with miso soup.

sadly, there's a weird transition between me and the person. so, it's weird and i think i've fallen for the trap. need to find a way out of the trap.

received good news today, hopefully able to travel to europe and xx can recover fast so we can go together.

look ghostly due to lack of exercise. 

Always- Panic at The Disco

is still feeling like dumbass for being a real loser.

mum nags for being single.

dad asks about the future career.

what kind of feelings should i project?

Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy

very fucked up right now.

career fair is tomorrow and decided to do a resume or simply take my previous resume that i've done for my previous training. yet, where the fuck is my resume?

now, i guess i've to do it all over again by day time. and it is really frustrating and feeling fuck up while everyone is submitting on the first day of the event.

real fuck up.

2 more assignments to go and i just barely reading the information given. feeling like a loser, i've not achieved anything in life gloriously. i've got no talents or special skills but procrastination. my future is so fucking blur and maybe one day i'll be taking public transports for life, living on breads and can of tuna for 3 meals daily, could only afford new clothes for CNY purposes, hunting for discounts and sales in the retail stores and buying fake goods..... but i want a better life.

海阔天空- Band version

somehow at this point of my any other ordinary day, i'm feeling fucking zombie.

reasons:

1. ASSignments to rush for deadlines.

2. energy fucking burn out, thanks to endless of thrills and fun in the outdoor theme park.

3. insufficient sleep and on the weakest week of the month. FUCK.

i just realized that i wasn't born for quick fame due to my big ego issues and that will tear me down if i don't keep my ego aside.

fucking confuse and lost with my assignments. meltdown. till the last semester, i've to suffer all these fucking bullshits.

finally, i'm at some place where i can finally enjoy the music.

She had the world but she wants the entire universe

I hope I am not the only one that's suffering the paranoia.
She's not even on her deathbed but only wishing for her loved ones to spend her last time with her.
Yet, the one she loved the most was the one that robbed/will be robbing her as always.
The Queen only wished for her princesses and princes to grow up and be a fine person.
Yet, her beloved rebellious princess always been trading her love for materials underground.
The Queen showered mountains and mountains of love for her beloved princess,
Yet her princess did not return any of them, not even a single tree,
Yet, the princess is still asking for the whole world.
As the Queen age, people and events revolve around her do not seems to flow smoothly.
God please bless the King and Queen.

Trade Mistakes- Panic ! At the Disco

If I could I would like to trade mistakes for falling for you,

If I knew it would happen this way, I would leave all the miseries away,

If I could travel back the time machine, I would use all the opportunities to lead the way,

If I knew it wouldn't bring any of us to a place, I would not have start anything at all,

If by trading mistakes would save me away, I would trade it with all my sheep,

If I could travel back time, I would not repeat the same incident again.

Alive- Black Eyed Peas

While listening to some sober melodies, I was browsing pictures of old flame. Thus, unwanted memories came up and was glad that it had over long long time ago. It was easy to reprise the unwanted memories and it wasn't easy to recall the beautiful memories.

I'm contracted with Bipolar disorder I think.

I'm still feeling underachieved cause I've never achieve anything before. Sadding. How to preview my resume to the reality?

Evil and a Heathen- Franz Ferdinand

I tried telling myself for numerous of times that it was just merely a switch that triggers the fear. There was nothing to be afraid because the victim is not ME. Yet, living with the problem is the real fear for I'm scared and worried for what I've experienced. Each time, I whispered by myself that everything is gonna be alright but to flash the incurable suffer has amount my fears even more, why can't live with it free worries? I don't know when to call or not to call the befall is fair or unjust. Talking and comforting myself is just another action of lying to myself. I still use my hands to close my ears as tight as silent as I could. Crying is rather useless for drops of tears could not help and heal. Yet, I'm clueless of what sort of reactions I've to put on my face for it is all depend on the courage and situation that is leaving the marks forever in my mind. 

December Baby- Ingrid Michaelson

Peekaboo! 

Just couldn't figure out how to begin and end with everything wonderfully.

I'm still battling with my ADD and procrastination. I can slightly feel the tingling rush of my deadlines for assignment submission but just refusing to do it.

If the world end is near approaching, should I say it or just keep in the heart not knowing forever? Trying to grab the good timing so it doesn't leak easily. Yet, fear is never easy to battle with. 

Adios.

la la la lies- Jack's Mannequin

fears are growing and living amongst me everyday. yet, i still need to live with the growing fears. how to shrink the fear? 

sometimes, i wonder if i should get close or stay far away with my fears. to get close, it's dealing with blankly clueless and useless. to stay far away, it's running and hiding away from the shits.

sometimes, it brings me shivers and frights by merely thinking of it. it is my responsibility to take care but no one gave me an emergency kit for fighting fears. 

sometimes, i just refuse to face my fears and deal with it. more likely, escaping away from it. 

=( 

I'm not listening to anything but the TV

You've no idea how's it like to be trolled for all the wrong reasons. Of course I don't understand, I'm not the worm of your body. How do I understand the awesome-ness you felt? I would've trolled you back before I sleep but time called so I slept.

Now, I feel disgusted for the reaction you made that is identical to someone I now disrespect. I was shocked and the influences in you people are so gay. You hear me, GAY.

Ok thanks bye. Good morning.

Fall for Anything- The Script

My salute and gratitude are sent out to the 50 workers in the Nuclear Reactor. With the spirit-like of Kamikaze, they had stayed back to chill the nuclear and working their asses off in the hazardous nuclear reactor. They sacrifices their lives and living amongst the nuclear radiation to prevent the whole Japan affected from nuclear's radiation. REAL HEROES AND REAL MEN. My salute to you.

Today, my eyes couldn't help but caught a glimpse of people I desired to see. I don't know what to do at times, should I speak or stay silent? To speak may lead the words to leak. To silent may lead to unsung voice of regrets.

The memories shall never repeat again.

Howl- Florence and The Machine

The funniest joke of the day is I'm being regard as FRIENDLY.

1st, I say thank you for such nice label
2nd, apparently, I'm a troller when I see something that is not right.
3rd, I don't really like to greet and say hi recently.

Anyhow, I'm still struggling with my ADD and the war is getting intense because I can't seems to get control of it.  I still failed with my battle of procrastination and ADD. Fail is Phail. I'm so sorry for myself.

Dead Wrong- the Fray

Yes? No?

We No Speak Americano- Yolanda

Let me tell you what I've encounter so far. People who bad mouthed other people in front of you but did the otherwise behind your back. what could be your reaction for such problem?

No wonder my other friends always vent when they encounter this kind of people especially when you treated them like your other best friends. Perhaps, misinterpretation of every behavior and action's purposes could lead to such misunderstanding?

Unsure of those but what's been done has done and I'm fed up of being nice. Or maybe I was just being selfish? Some people do not know what I'm into and when they talk about it, sometimes I got offended although they knew I'm not the kind of person that can blend into their talks and topics. I'm rather boyish or manlish so I don't talk like them. I'm glad if I can curse and swear in the group but when I do, I would get weird stares so I rather keep it silent.

Maybe I'm inconsiderate and selfish, probably annoying too. Bah, I don't care anymore.

Ya know what I find it's right?

Being optimistic is just to shed and camouflage the pessimist in you- All's Well Ends Well 2011.

But it's better if you do- PATD

Frankly speaking, I have ADD and it is confirmed. Due to the constant attentions from other pages, I'm not consistent enough to finish the whole important article for coming assignments or maybe the topics are boring? Tax Haven, shouldn't be.... a handful of usefulness could be use in the future, to evade heavy taxes imposed by the bodies. It's a crime, I know.

Heartbeat- Enrique Iglesias featuring Nicole Scherzinger

There's no window where I'm sitting right now so I can't gaze out to the skies and stars to vent out emotions while listening to my songs. The truth is already in my head and I've known it long time ago. Yet sometimes I wonder is it worthwhile to keep or just dump? Can't guess what am I relating to? It's none other than FRIENDSHIP.

People come and go in our lives, they don't stay long because we have short life span. Anyhow, I'm realizing that people do make friends with you when you do have assets or benefits that they can take or rather steal from you. I've seen it and I'm disgusted by their hypocrisy. Okay, maybe I troll much because I dislike and would not want to give face to their statements. Well, I'm the ignorance and also the evil person. So, I troll whenever you tell, ask or give stupid statements. (unaware that i'm stupid too). At times, I realized that I'm a sadistic and I enjoy seeing people's face that got troll by me.

I don't want another stupid emotional post on how forever alone or pathetic I am getting. Au Revoir.