I tried telling myself for numerous of times that it was just merely a switch that triggers the fear. There was nothing to be afraid because the victim is not ME. Yet, living with the problem is the real fear for I'm scared and worried for what I've experienced. Each time, I whispered by myself that everything is gonna be alright but to flash the incurable suffer has amount my fears even more, why can't live with it free worries? I don't know when to call or not to call the befall is fair or unjust. Talking and comforting myself is just another action of lying to myself. I still use my hands to close my ears as tight as silent as I could. Crying is rather useless for drops of tears could not help and heal. Yet, I'm clueless of what sort of reactions I've to put on my face for it is all depend on the courage and situation that is leaving the marks forever in my mind.