I don't know how my heart behaves today.
On a Saturday early morning, everyone is sleeping soundly and still in their la la land. Apparently, the odd me, woke up around 8am eager to go for swimming. So, the unusual me took bus all the way to swimming pool and went into the pool for 8 laps around the swimming pool with hard determination to complete the 8 laps. I went for work after that and completely smell like swimming pool's chlorine.
The point is I'm somewhat mad. Sleep has what I've called luxury recently and I spent it with my determination for exercise. I can't insert any slot for exercise for other days so I make full use of the time.
After work, I walked all the way to the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive, a temple's dinner celebration was ongoing that time. Suddenly, I heard some man was singing hokkien song and that hokkien song reminded of my parents. That reminiscence took the action and tears started flowing down from eyes uninviting. Upon hearing the familiar hokkien song, I realized how much I MISS MY FAMILY especially MY PARENTS.
I've been neglecting to communicate with them, therefore, I must register my phone number ASAP. I MISS hearing their VOICES. Whatever I do, their advises came up to my mind FIRST. I want to go back but I don't have the time to do so and thus, I plan to go back home on dad's birthday. I don't even feel like attending my cousin's wedding but I just wish to see my parents.
It feels like I'm a bad child, I've not forgotten my roots yet.
Today's been a very weird day for my emotions and behavior.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Secret Heart- Feist
As per title, there's so many things are being suppress down to the bottom of the HEART.
While being suppress, the other side of me is looking for a suitable steel chest made out of platinum or some sort like Magneto's helmet kind of element. That mega magnificent chest must be able to keep and lock away some parts of the memories that I wouldn't want to remember.
Those 'young and foolish days' is pulling me back and definitely it will hold me from moving forward. Sometimes, it makes me feel depress to the extreme that I'm beginning to feel the fear everyday. I hated it and never liked it.
讲也不是，不知如何从哪儿开始。
哭也不是，问题还是绕着在身边。
骂也不是，绝对不是最理智的方式。
I'm not a good storyteller thus I wouldn't want to begin it.
I'm not a solver thus I don't know how to end all these problems.
This is when I'm asking and begging for a TIME MACHINE to bring me back and amend the events before it got worsen.
Sometimes, I tell myself to be cautious but is that cautious entirely pulling me back from doing what I think it could possibly be a positive results?
Asking Buddha is totally useless for Buddha will only help those who help themselves.
Can any gentleman lend me their shoulder to lean on and weep for a while?
Thank you.
While being suppress, the other side of me is looking for a suitable steel chest made out of platinum or some sort like Magneto's helmet kind of element. That mega magnificent chest must be able to keep and lock away some parts of the memories that I wouldn't want to remember.
Those 'young and foolish days' is pulling me back and definitely it will hold me from moving forward. Sometimes, it makes me feel depress to the extreme that I'm beginning to feel the fear everyday. I hated it and never liked it.
讲也不是，不知如何从哪儿开始。
哭也不是，问题还是绕着在身边。
骂也不是，绝对不是最理智的方式。
I'm not a good storyteller thus I wouldn't want to begin it.
I'm not a solver thus I don't know how to end all these problems.
This is when I'm asking and begging for a TIME MACHINE to bring me back and amend the events before it got worsen.
Sometimes, I tell myself to be cautious but is that cautious entirely pulling me back from doing what I think it could possibly be a positive results?
Asking Buddha is totally useless for Buddha will only help those who help themselves.
Can any gentleman lend me their shoulder to lean on and weep for a while?
Thank you.
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