MY COLORFUL ECSTACY

Essay- Morning Mountain

2012-02-12T23:09:00.001+08:00

The cooling breeze is here to neutralize the heaty room.Nope, i am not okay.Some senior of mine said i am a good friend but my friend is not a good friend.I admit, i am a pretty good listener but i might not console people really well. At least, i tried to make them feel better. Whenever i expressed my rage, nobody listens yet they want me to listen their rage stories. Maybe I speak too soft.I am in a foreign country now and i don't have my loved ones to be there make me smile. The only thing i can do is to laugh madly wherever i see something funny.I dont instantly make new friends as my close friend. I dont simply express in front of people whom I am not close with. Maybe I am just tired.If I were to speak, I would prefer face to face interaction instead of chatting over the messenger like applications. I just want my listener to look at my expression when i talk. But it is hard till the extent of At some point I am turning to anti- socialist.The people around me makes me feel that I am an abandon child. Though I may look tough, strong and mad but those who knew me well knows that I am, in fact, a human. I have feelings too. This is when I miss my parents' voice, it's the most angelic voice I've ever heard. Whitney Houston's (RIP) voice is not as angelic as my folks.I am grateful that I have one good listener asides from my love ones.I am thankful for that. We can chat and swear with anything.

Sun Glitters- Beside Me (Essay interpretation)

2012-02-09T00:13:00.001+08:00

I'm seeing blue skies everyday but I can't see any beautiful flowers matching with the sky blue.

I know life's never been easy to walk down through our age. Different age group comes with different perception and troubles. Recently, I've got a friend who ended his life with the age of just 24 [RIP], the reasons behind the silly act wasn't really clear. I told my folks about this matter and I got to know from my aunt that my folks were worried and concerned if I might fall into the trap. Apparently, I was touched to acknowledge their concerns and the reply to their assurance was... just let me rant and whine. At least, I'm aware that the bomb shelter is there for me to stay relief even just for a second. One single second can change the whole life.

I know it is not easy to walk on the road alone with so many road path to take into considerations.

Time to be serious at work, I've been playing too much in the office. LOL.

Heard it All Before- Meiko

2011-12-31T01:16:00.000+08:00

Dear All,

I feel like a noob.

It's my fault, I still can't get use to the current environment.

Although I'm still learning to adjust it but I'm clueless what hold me back from moving forward.

I used to be daring with valid reasons.

Now, each movement I make, every milliseconds is being taken note.

Even though, I tried to be daring with valid reasons, I'm being pull back from marching forward.

In this mad mad house, you don't have the time to be happy for yourself.

You cheer the mad house to be happy.

May the Mad House stays happy as always.

Happy New Year!

Here is something light heart for everyone.

How My Heart Behaves- Feist

2011-10-29T23:10:00.001+08:00

I don't know how my heart behaves today.

On a Saturday early morning, everyone is sleeping soundly and still in their la la land. Apparently, the odd me, woke up around 8am eager to go for swimming. So, the unusual me took bus all the way to swimming pool and went into the pool for 8 laps around the swimming pool with hard determination to complete the 8 laps. I went for work after that and completely smell like swimming pool's chlorine.

The point is I'm somewhat mad. Sleep has what I've called luxury recently and I spent it with my determination for exercise. I can't insert any slot for exercise for other days so I make full use of the time.

After work, I walked all the way to the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive, a temple's dinner celebration was ongoing that time. Suddenly, I heard some man was singing hokkien song and that hokkien song reminded of my parents. That reminiscence took the action and tears started flowing down from eyes uninviting. Upon hearing the familiar hokkien song, I realized how much I MISS MY FAMILY especially MY PARENTS.

I've been neglecting to communicate with them, therefore, I must register my phone number ASAP. I MISS hearing their VOICES. Whatever I do, their advises came up to my mind FIRST. I want to go back but I don't have the time to do so and thus, I plan to go back home on dad's birthday. I don't even feel like attending my cousin's wedding but I just wish to see my parents.

It feels like I'm a bad child, I've not forgotten my roots yet.

Today's been a very weird day for my emotions and behavior.

Secret Heart- Feist

2011-10-23T02:11:00.004+08:00

As per title, there's so many things are being suppress down to the bottom of the HEART.

While being suppress, the other side of me is looking for a suitable steel chest made out of platinum or some sort like Magneto's helmet kind of element. That mega magnificent chest must be able to keep and lock away some parts of the memories that I wouldn't want to remember.

Those 'young and foolish days' is pulling me back and definitely it will hold me from moving forward. Sometimes, it makes me feel depress to the extreme that I'm beginning to feel the fear everyday. I hated it and never liked it.

讲也不是，不知如何从哪儿开始。
哭也不是，问题还是绕着在身边。
骂也不是，绝对不是最理智的方式。

I'm not a good storyteller thus I wouldn't want to begin it.
I'm not a solver thus I don't know how to end all these problems.

This is when I'm asking and begging for a TIME MACHINE to bring me back and amend the events before it got worsen.

Sometimes, I tell myself to be cautious but is that cautious entirely pulling me back from doing what I think it could possibly be a positive results?

Asking Buddha is totally useless for Buddha will only help those who help themselves.

Can any gentleman lend me their shoulder to lean on and weep for a while?

Thank you.

Pumped Up Kicks- Foster the People

2011-09-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

It is high listening to this song as per title. Seriously.

This leads me to start making crazy plans in this island. Since it is small and convenient, I would love to go around this island and understand the private property projects in this freaking island.

I'm clueless why the plan was made but it is certainly something I would love to go around and take a look.

Honestly, I'm trying to familiarize with the system and organization's culture inside the company but my mind always appear to be idle whenever they started their discussion. When the questions are coming to me, I just don't know how to put my answers in the proper sentence. It's like copying and pasting the words bit by bit.

Everyday the two male colleagues will chit chat and started gossiping.. wait, gossiping? hmmm... I don't think gossiping but would rather discuss about the corporate's affair and personal issues of other department's colleagues very publicly and loudly. It always makes me laugh when I came to think about it each time both of them discussing loudly in the office. I would always cover my mouth with my hand behind the monitor and showing uninterested in their conversations. Well, obviously, I wasn't eavesdropping as they were doing it in the public, their sounds happen to travel to my ears and everyone's ears.

Ok.. off for some reading materials! Night.

Cade Veco- Bebel Gilberto

2011-09-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

Each time after work, I usually spend some time thinking where to go for window shopping or hang outdoors. Yet, I always spend my time alone with myself.

Although in work place, I have people around me yet I still have problems with socializing with people. Do I have problems with myself?

While everywhere I could see people with their people and I'm alone with my custom made brown bag. Sometimes, with a book and an earphone attached to my handphone.

Yet at times I feel contented to be alone with those two things but once I reach home, I'm always emotional.

I hate this but I've to sort it out for myself.

Pickpocket in Disguise- Xavier Jamaux and Fred Avril

2011-09-13T22:47:00.001+08:00

Been missing for some time and yeap, I'm finally settled down in Lion City in search for futures after the completion of my tertiary education.

Many episodes were created for the past few months. There's sweet and bitter in it and it all causes by my foolishness and stupidity. That time around, my ego was high till it touches the Emperor Jade's throne. After some this and that, I got to realize, you shouldn't mess around with ego. I'm still in the process of pushing my ego back down from the throne.

I'm consider lucky to land myself a job which I have no idea on what's my responsibility till I finally step into the organization. It's a long and tedious process to land myself in Lion City yet I tried to tell myself everyday that I should appreciate with what I've right now. I wouldn't want to take things for granted as it costs a lot of... well, long story, it involves humans. Thus, zip it.

Although, just the first week of my job, I've already offended the top management people and I blown my chance to learn new stuff. Argh.. bodoh sial, I even defensed myself and I've no idea how Donald Trump appeared in my instincts telling me to defensed myself. Gosh, how rude and obviously, I'm disturbed by it... even my friend can tell I was disturbed by it.

Everyday in work, I'm assessing myself in terms of every way.. such like my behavior, my attitude, my thoughts and many stuff. I am trying not to disappoint my manager and I am trying to work smartly. Hopefully, my brain comes alive. However, today I received a task that is totally in hand with my FYP, develop questions for after sale.... I was speechless but I cannot sigh since it's my task.

I'm trying to be positive with everything I see and experience.

Amitabha.

Time Fusion- DJ Okawari

2011-06-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

Just finished checking my results, looking at it just made me realized that i'm always somewhere on the line. Neither good nor bad. What special skills do I still possess asides cursing and swearing?

Life decision making process, the hardest part is the decision making, so it came true.
One, it's the route of opportunity to own a better and quality terms for future life contracts.
Second, it's another path for clearing burdens or have a taste of working in real life with specific field.
The same illustration, standing on the fork of two diverged path (ok, maybe with a tree in the middle and grasses on the side), wondering which way to go.

Some path has no turning back, some might lead you to regrets.
If you're lucky and blessed enough, some path lead you to happiness and success of achieving desired dreams.

I wish I could have the problems and matters to be solve for good before I leave peacefully to pursue dreams that I yearn to achieve.

I always question myself, who lead my way? Although I knew it was myself that I should lead my on way yet, there are matters that ain't under my control.

When your heart is missing- Rooney

2011-05-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

Done! Another four years of studying for tertiary education has been passed. While my friends are sobering for their past days, I sit here telling myself, it's another process that everyone is compulsory to experience, DEPARTURE. Experienced it before and it wasn't a good feeling and process to undergo. Yet, as time goes by we tend to forget each other soon but only concentrating on what's ahead in our life. The goals and missions that we yearn to achieve.

Again, with the help of StumbleUpon, I found Tiny Buddha for enlightening my current situation.

Yes, I'm in the midst of facing situations that is gonna affect the future. Lost and might be find back in the matter of time.

I don't feel like babbling anymore. Kthxbye.

Say When- The Fray

2011-05-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so fucked up with my paper just now.

It was obvious that tips were given and don't know why I just couldn't somehow recall the materials I had read.

Few minutes ago, was flipping through my notes and I began to feel fucked up again. I saw the tips and it was right there.. the answers I should have answered in the paper. Damn! My marks are gone just like that.

Previously, Credit Management had made me kept my fears and worries of taking the supplementary paper again. Apparently, thank God, I passed. Now, Financial Derivatives, I know I had done badly for the mid-term and now, the finals. FML!

The feeling is like you knew it was there but you couldn't recall if it was there. This morning I was clearly in the car reading, scheming and scanning through all the important notes that I made last night.

Damn! My confidence has gone. Argh.. it made me rage and mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The second paper right now is even worse, no tips given and you have to bloody read all the 5 chapters with only a day and few hours to spend.

I can only put the blame on myself for not being determine and diligent enough. Blame myself for not knowing the consequences of future.

Now the most important question, how to get rich and build cacao empire in the future??????????

Muz fohkus on cahkao empihyer

Flashing Lights- Kanye West

2011-04-24T17:31:00.000+08:00

i ain't want to be another sober for my peer's life.

i live my life and i choose my way to live it. i may be sober, depress, bipolar, happy, ecstatic and nuts. yet, i don't give one fucking damn to everything that happens around.

that's cos i'm the ruler of my life. i see peers were mutually agreeing with each other on some shit stuff, i walk off and give pffft.
to be honest, i'm the most fucking awesome person in the world.
i have no lover, i have no best friends, i have no pets but i have my family. most of all, i have the big heart in me.

Apart from achieving successions in life, drums are my next dream.

Around the World- Daft Punk

2011-04-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

Today had a clear and simple fun day.

an hour ago, i made my own cocktail that is with vodka grapefruit + soda water + sunkist orange = awesome. the real fact is i bought the wrong flavor of vodka and it tasted like medicine so much that i don't even feel like touching it tho the bottle is beautiful.

i went for grocery shopping today coz i'm making soba mee tomorrow yo, with miso soup.

sadly, there's a weird transition between me and the person. so, it's weird and i think i've fallen for the trap. need to find a way out of the trap.

received good news today, hopefully able to travel to europe and xx can recover fast so we can go together.

look ghostly due to lack of exercise.

Always- Panic at The Disco

2011-04-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

is still feeling like dumbass for being a real loser.

mum nags for being single.

dad asks about the future career.

what kind of feelings should i project?

Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy

2011-04-19T00:17:00.001+08:00

very fucked up right now.

career fair is tomorrow and decided to do a resume or simply take my previous resume that i've done for my previous training. yet, where the fuck is my resume?

now, i guess i've to do it all over again by day time. and it is really frustrating and feeling fuck up while everyone is submitting on the first day of the event.

real fuck up.

2 more assignments to go and i just barely reading the information given. feeling like a loser, i've not achieved anything in life gloriously. i've got no talents or special skills but procrastination. my future is so fucking blur and maybe one day i'll be taking public transports for life, living on breads and can of tuna for 3 meals daily, could only afford new clothes for CNY purposes, hunting for discounts and sales in the retail stores and buying fake goods..... but i want a better life.

海阔天空- Band version

2011-04-16T00:30:00.000+08:00

somehow at this point of my any other ordinary day, i'm feeling fucking zombie.

reasons:

1. ASSignments to rush for deadlines.

2. energy fucking burn out, thanks to endless of thrills and fun in the outdoor theme park.

3. insufficient sleep and on the weakest week of the month. FUCK.

i just realized that i wasn't born for quick fame due to my big ego issues and that will tear me down if i don't keep my ego aside.

fucking confuse and lost with my assignments. meltdown. till the last semester, i've to suffer all these fucking bullshits.

finally, i'm at some place where i can finally enjoy the music.

She had the world but she wants the entire universe

2011-04-06T20:07:00.000+08:00

I hope I am not the only one that's suffering the paranoia.
She's not even on her deathbed but only wishing for her loved ones to spend her last time with her.
Yet, the one she loved the most was the one that robbed/will be robbing her as always.
The Queen only wished for her princesses and princes to grow up and be a fine person.
Yet, her beloved rebellious princess always been trading her love for materials underground.
The Queen showered mountains and mountains of love for her beloved princess,
Yet her princess did not return any of them, not even a single tree,
Yet, the princess is still asking for the whole world.
As the Queen age, people and events revolve around her do not seems to flow smoothly.
God please bless the King and Queen.

Trade Mistakes- Panic ! At the Disco

2011-04-02T01:29:00.000+08:00

If I could I would like to trade mistakes for falling for you,

If I knew it would happen this way, I would leave all the miseries away,

If I could travel back the time machine, I would use all the opportunities to lead the way,

If I knew it wouldn't bring any of us to a place, I would not have start anything at all,

If by trading mistakes would save me away, I would trade it with all my sheep,

If I could travel back time, I would not repeat the same incident again.

Alive- Black Eyed Peas

2011-03-30T01:16:00.000+08:00

While listening to some sober melodies, I was browsing pictures of old flame. Thus, unwanted memories came up and was glad that it had over long long time ago. It was easy to reprise the unwanted memories and it wasn't easy to recall the beautiful memories.

I'm contracted with Bipolar disorder I think.

I'm still feeling underachieved cause I've never achieve anything before. Sadding. How to preview my resume to the reality?

Evil and a Heathen- Franz Ferdinand

2011-03-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

I tried telling myself for numerous of times that it was just merely a switch that triggers the fear. There was nothing to be afraid because the victim is not ME. Yet, living with the problem is the real fear for I'm scared and worried for what I've experienced. Each time, I whispered by myself that everything is gonna be alright but to flash the incurable suffer has amount my fears even more, why can't live with it free worries? I don't know when to call or not to call the befall is fair or unjust. Talking and comforting myself is just another action of lying to myself. I still use my hands to close my ears as tight as silent as I could. Crying is rather useless for drops of tears could not help and heal. Yet, I'm clueless of what sort of reactions I've to put on my face for it is all depend on the courage and situation that is leaving the marks forever in my mind.

December Baby- Ingrid Michaelson

2011-03-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

Peekaboo!

Just couldn't figure out how to begin and end with everything wonderfully.

I'm still battling with my ADD and procrastination. I can slightly feel the tingling rush of my deadlines for assignment submission but just refusing to do it.

If the world end is near approaching, should I say it or just keep in the heart not knowing forever? Trying to grab the good timing so it doesn't leak easily. Yet, fear is never easy to battle with.

Adios.

la la la lies- Jack's Mannequin

2011-03-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

fears are growing and living amongst me everyday. yet, i still need to live with the growing fears. how to shrink the fear?

sometimes, i wonder if i should get close or stay far away with my fears. to get close, it's dealing with blankly clueless and useless. to stay far away, it's running and hiding away from the shits.

sometimes, it brings me shivers and frights by merely thinking of it. it is my responsibility to take care but no one gave me an emergency kit for fighting fears.

sometimes, i just refuse to face my fears and deal with it. more likely, escaping away from it.

I'm not listening to anything but the TV

2011-03-19T10:08:00.000+08:00

You've no idea how's it like to be trolled for all the wrong reasons. Of course I don't understand, I'm not the worm of your body. How do I understand the awesome-ness you felt? I would've trolled you back before I sleep but time called so I slept.

Now, I feel disgusted for the reaction you made that is identical to someone I now disrespect. I was shocked and the influences in you people are so gay. You hear me, GAY.

Ok thanks bye. Good morning.

Fall for Anything- The Script

2011-03-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

My salute and gratitude are sent out to the 50 workers in the Nuclear Reactor. With the spirit-like of Kamikaze, they had stayed back to chill the nuclear and working their asses off in the hazardous nuclear reactor. They sacrifices their lives and living amongst the nuclear radiation to prevent the whole Japan affected from nuclear's radiation. REAL HEROES AND REAL MEN. My salute to you.

Today, my eyes couldn't help but caught a glimpse of people I desired to see. I don't know what to do at times, should I speak or stay silent? To speak may lead the words to leak. To silent may lead to unsung voice of regrets.

The memories shall never repeat again.

Howl- Florence and The Machine

2011-03-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

The funniest joke of the day is I'm being regard as FRIENDLY.

1st, I say thank you for such nice label
2nd, apparently, I'm a troller when I see something that is not right.
3rd, I don't really like to greet and say hi recently.

Anyhow, I'm still struggling with my ADD and the war is getting intense because I can't seems to get control of it. I still failed with my battle of procrastination and ADD. Fail is Phail. I'm so sorry for myself.

Dead Wrong- the Fray

2011-03-11T01:02:00.000+08:00

Yes? No?

We No Speak Americano- Yolanda

2011-03-09T17:17:00.001+08:00

Let me tell you what I've encounter so far. People who bad mouthed other people in front of you but did the otherwise behind your back. what could be your reaction for such problem?

No wonder my other friends always vent when they encounter this kind of people especially when you treated them like your other best friends. Perhaps, misinterpretation of every behavior and action's purposes could lead to such misunderstanding?

Unsure of those but what's been done has done and I'm fed up of being nice. Or maybe I was just being selfish? Some people do not know what I'm into and when they talk about it, sometimes I got offended although they knew I'm not the kind of person that can blend into their talks and topics. I'm rather boyish or manlish so I don't talk like them. I'm glad if I can curse and swear in the group but when I do, I would get weird stares so I rather keep it silent.

Maybe I'm inconsiderate and selfish, probably annoying too. Bah, I don't care anymore.

Ya know what I find it's right?

Being optimistic is just to shed and camouflage the pessimist in you- All's Well Ends Well 2011.

But it's better if you do- PATD

2011-03-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I have ADD and it is confirmed. Due to the constant attentions from other pages, I'm not consistent enough to finish the whole important article for coming assignments or maybe the topics are boring? Tax Haven, shouldn't be.... a handful of usefulness could be use in the future, to evade heavy taxes imposed by the bodies. It's a crime, I know.

Heartbeat- Enrique Iglesias featuring Nicole Scherzinger

2011-03-07T00:11:00.001+08:00

There's no window where I'm sitting right now so I can't gaze out to the skies and stars to vent out emotions while listening to my songs. The truth is already in my head and I've known it long time ago. Yet sometimes I wonder is it worthwhile to keep or just dump? Can't guess what am I relating to? It's none other than FRIENDSHIP.

People come and go in our lives, they don't stay long because we have short life span. Anyhow, I'm realizing that people do make friends with you when you do have assets or benefits that they can take or rather steal from you. I've seen it and I'm disgusted by their hypocrisy. Okay, maybe I troll much because I dislike and would not want to give face to their statements. Well, I'm the ignorance and also the evil person. So, I troll whenever you tell, ask or give stupid statements. (unaware that i'm stupid too). At times, I realized that I'm a sadistic and I enjoy seeing people's face that got troll by me.

I don't want another stupid emotional post on how forever alone or pathetic I am getting. Au Revoir.

Panic at the disco is back to my life

2011-03-04T01:14:00.000+08:00

My age already surpass 20 and I still do have the tendency to escape and run away from the reality. The road down is so blur and unclear. I can't see clearly till I decide which path to go. Even when I'm in break, I'm still escaping to the virtual world and everyday trolling people. Yet, not realizing I wasn't good enough to contribute the world. I can't even finish reading an investment article within minutes.... FML.

I've the tendency to troll people on FaceBook because I dislike what I saw and feel although I knew it's none of my business. But, it's part of my interest to do it. So, I like.

Right now, I'm so hungry for the moment and I can't believe I was so genius enough to pour in so much of vodka. The grapefruit flavoured vodka still taste like medicine to me. It's my third time mixing it and I still can't take it though I mixed it with lime. It still taste like bloody medicine and I can still feel the tingling on my tongue by merely thinking of it.

extreme brief recap

2011-03-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

hi, oh my, i see crickets are singing and spiderwebs everywhere. Rabbit dust are hopping around with their evil smiley faces. oh boy, let's see, just ended my second last semester and that semester was a chaotic one.

it leaves me no peace for rest, going up and down the miles, literally. numerous trips to hospital, fling of emotions, bunch of confusions, buckets of joy, barrels of fun and so on. it leaves me no rest especially the hospital part and my final year project's tortures.

trips to USS and guangzhou was the best and enjoyable. sadly, my cousin has lost our pictures of USS in her pc.

the mixed feelings was heavily revolve around although i had tried my best to escape. it is still there and i can't deny. thus, actions need to be taken.

i got nothing much to jot down anymore, perhaps i am lazy.

besides, i've got so many thoughts haunting me till the end of this holidays and might prolong till God knows when.

fooling around

2011-02-09T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'm agitated with the current situation right now. Not knowing where I'd probably stand anyways, let me get the picture for you, a girl soaking under the rain looking across the streets whether shades or soaks. That's the saddest part of human life, you are uncertain and doubtful with your decisions you HAVE MADE.

I'm agitated with the atmosphere around me and Facebook. I might go crazy with a bunch of hypocrites although those aren't my businesses but I just feel irritated by those THINGS and it's bundling up. I tried not to care but it couldn't be help. So, let it be...

I'm still fooling around as usual.

2011-01-13T11:09:00.000+08:00

Who do i turn to in times of emptiness?

Life at this moment is lifeless.

rocketeer

2011-01-11T22:47:00.003+08:00

in a world of madness when every thoughts of mine flowed out. still, i'm at my best condition to stay conscious for i fear for fall. i wish to pawn all i see. what would you see in the world of mist?

* i don't usually take pictures of myself but yeah... i've nothing best to do. thanks to the submission of fyp, i feel lifeless again.

what else can i do to make my life more lively?

RAInBOW

2011-01-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

Just completed my FYP and intended to go to bed early but look at the time, already past 12am and I've got tuition to be given in the morning. Then, in the noon I need to wait for email from my supervisor upon the approval of printing. Argh... After completing all these baloneys, I felt bored and lifeless now. I could have use the good time to go read some books and computer is still here to accompany me. I couldn't sleep at this moment right now and I still feel awake. Let me jot down few thoughts from my mind first. Maybe I've gone a bit far by interacting with a guy and I kept assuming these and those, well, you know.... Then, at some point, I felt the rush to spill out everything to let the rock out from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what that person is gonna think because I just couldn't take it anymore and I own a short temper. I might sound selfish for being inconsiderate with the person thoughts but I just couldn't care and take it anymore. What if year 2012 disasters is coming true? Nobody wants to live life regretful which at least, I found a chance to do something right. It's a new era of equality so maybe in some part, there's consideration that can be taken only to the current person I've interacted. "Heaven Forbid" is being played over and over again numerously, some sort of emotional part, I haven't read the lyrics yet but the melody is just enough to make me feel the emotions of the song. I recalled 'Heaven forbid you end up alone' which already made me question everything by taking account of needs and wants. 'Out of this one, I don't know how to get you'.... that ends everything with a hope. Argh, I think I am turning into emotional bitch. Alright. Emo bitch needs to sleep. Off to lala land soon. Au Revoir! A bientot!!!!!

the only thing i want to accomplish is what's need to be accomplish

2011-01-07T00:03:00.003+08:00

Supposing spending the time to revise and amend mistakes done in my final year project but my mind was left off wandering to some place wrongly.

it's a place where speech of freedom is available in colorful ecstasy:

我很想告诉你，我曾经喜欢过你。现在。。也许，或许还有一点点。但我又犯最大的错误就是自作多情。一直很想一了了之的说给你因为我的心却是放不下。时间总是不给我个机会。。。

i've got a short and hot temper which i will do anything that ease the hardness in me.

Thanks for mind fuck, I spare some time here. Happy New Year all.

2011-01-02T23:51:00.003+08:00

I'm seeing everyone's blog wishing Happy New Year, though it may sounds typical but yeah, Happy New Year. I wasn't really keen on this celebration so I'll just wait for the Chinese New Year one.

Anyways, I had New Year Eve's presents and a plentiful, let's just say they belong to vintage ones. Tonnes of vintage.

Then, first day of new year, experiencing severe headache due to excessive mind fucking shocks which prolong till today and for the coming days as well.

Again, I was feeling dead few days ago till caffeine came and resurrected me but trapped in the body of a zombie feeling. Funnily, the body that seems to be restless but the brain is still thirsty for sleep, so i guess the brain is actually working.

All I can say for now is MIND FUCK! Cursing has always been part of me when the anger is boiling. Definitely not pleasant being Mind Fuck severely. Thanks to FYP, I can kiss it goodbye.

New Year's resolutions:

Kick off procrastination

Sleep early

Wardrobe makeover

Live life Love life

Back to life

2010-12-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

Back from China and it is fucking awesome country. Let's not mention the human civilization first. Nope, sorry, not gonna upload photos atm.

Back to humid weather, fucking hectic life and worrisome tasks.

I'm still scare coz I can't see what's ahead of me anymore. I just couldn't imagine what I can do with the present that I've to show in the FUTURE. The road at the moment is extremely Blurry, refusing to make choices for the diverge forks of the road.

Back to unwanted life

I still fear but it takes a whole amount of courage to stand up

2010-12-12T22:30:00.002+08:00

Hello? Hi? Hey?... tired of any typical announce-my-presence greetings. Sometimes, simple smile and head nodding will do. Ya know what I dislike, people shaking hands without sincere.

Anyways, for the past few days weren't any other ordinary good days for me. Once again, I've to undergo the same fear and the cowardly act. No, honestly, yeah. It's still feels unreal to be in fear again. Numerous of nightmare episodes that repeatedly haunting the mind.

It would be sick and irritating to continuously seeking for the same 'therapist' for some ala therapy talks. I can't help but I need comfort and trust-able 'pillow' for me to confess. Someday, somewhere, sometime when it occurs, I've to be facing it alone but when can I have the courage to face it?

My friend taught me to keep myself in the place I'm most comfortable with... I'm looking for a place like this, minimalist artistic.

Although I look as if alright and sleeping soundly in the midst of night, to be honest, I wasn't sleeping sweetly like everyone does. Best part is I don't shed tears for I'm braver than what I've thought.

Buddha, please bless and grant for a tiny peasant's wishes to be good for all.

Adore this look.

I love the bowtie

At times, I'm a bit lonely due to my shyness

2010-12-04T16:59:00.002+08:00

Happy Holidays to MMU-ians.

While everyone go for holidays and hanging out with friends, I shall be the geek staying in completing assignments that needed to be done ASAP! Loneliness stalks in.

Tasks:

All assignments including final year project.
Getting my checklists done for a vacation.
Visit dentist.
More reading.
PS 3.
Exercise.
Tuitions for replacements.

I can't wait for the mid month to come. Another best part of my life is about to be written. I hope that the best part may change me to be more courageous and tougher. I'm still wandering in the same circle, drawing thoughts.

The agony in me has prevailed my empty mind. I don't understand why I still insist to undergo the process of selecting, perhaps I was spoil with given choices around me. Opportunities are everywhere but why am I refusing to make a choice quick and fast? Most importantly accurate. I was torn between two choices and it created plentiful of chaos for all. Doesn't matter if it's selecting what to eat, what to drink, what to do. *sigh*

When one is taken away, the other will fight for it back. - Regrets.

When i look at the runway, i really want to trespass

2010-11-29T23:57:00.002+08:00

Can I trespass the airport runway near my house for photoshooting? Me love the view when there's bright blue sky and not so much of the sun, just enough brightness to capture my world.

I'm beginning to love Lomography. You don't know what are the outcomes that leave you a plentiful of surprises. =)

Days go by- Dirty Vegas

2010-11-28T00:16:00.003+08:00

So, I've been thinking a lot actually.

How's this?

What if one day a big massacre by begin their slaughters in the country in this era?

What will you do when the massacre days arrived?

I had these fantasies of living in New York long time ago and one day, I began picturing myself in Coney Island enjoying pastel pink cotton candy, hanging out in Coney Island till the sunsets, holding the LC-A camera snapping pictures I like, get a temporary tattoo from there and also getting ecstatics to hop onto all the rides like every other child in Coney Island.

All these moments were just like John Mayer's Clarity music video except I stayed dry in Coney Island.

Anybody wants to fly me to NYC?

*I've tried Fisheye Black 2 and toy camera is fun. It makes you feel spontaneous and lively again! Fun Fun Fun. Don't think, just shoot!!!!!!!

Thinking of owning one and then go around to be spontaneous.

December is coming and I'm falling in love again with Ingrid Michaelson's December Baby. The time has come. I'm content with what I've but not the time that was formed by the Universe.

*Sigh*

Bagai kacang dilupakan kulit or 狗咬吕洞宾，不识好人心.

2010-11-14T22:29:00.003+08:00

The blog really looks dead. *Sigh*. It's been chaotic and lost with the time track, *hopefully* temporarily.

Bagai kacang dilupakan kulit or 狗咬吕洞宾，不识好人心.

Maybe I was being too kind or rather realistically naive.

Putting such hopes, hopes for a return ticket that's never gonna exist.

That's when the time of changes had proven you with your five senses.

People do change but some do change for good and some do change to worst.

Sincerity and truthfulness were almost non- existence at all.

Yet, we are still throwing away our kindness and sympathies to those who we've judged wrongly.

Even, if we stood up for them but cold shoulders is what they were transmitting to you.

One good deed may change their lives forever and they take it for granted.

When help seeks them, they cornered themselves to somewhere couldn't be found.

Even worst, we're feeling like a fool.

Being the kindest does not get one's good impression after all.

What's good for impression is what you've accomplish in glory so far.

That's when you'll be crowded with people that had never smiled at you before.

To begin with the cycle, I ask, what's the most important resources should helping to build up one's foundation?

Some are desperate attention seeker.

Some likes to provoke fire within themselves.

Some loves to play dual mask among themselves.

Some just couldn't stand alone.

Some just love to whine in another way of bragging.

Seriously, I'm fucking tired of all these and rather be gathering myself to become a social awkward before turning to the world.

I made another wish. A wish to really come true.

2010-10-31T10:11:00.004+08:00

I made another wish truthfully.

While I called myself selfish attending a party, my brother on the other hand, is lying helplessly in the hospital. The uncontrollable evil power.... I don't feel like describing it into details.

Upon the occurrence, I found myself being a coward, couldn't bare to take a straight look into the eyes. Being the eldest in the family, I feel useless and helpless to ease his sufferings and pains. If you tell me there are others suffered from severe diseases and illnesses, please TAKE BACK your words and say it to others.

In all, I could not do anything but to pray and wish for him.

I tried not to shed tears for I'm staying strong but this description failed in me. I'm weak. I couldn't even find the courage to face the whole disturbing situation.

how to gather back all the pieces of me?

2010-10-26T23:26:00.002+08:00

for the past few days, unnecessary and important emotions ran through the veins. uncontrollable and undefinable measures.

i had a rough week to start, an extremely tough and hard day to begin the week.

it ignites the coward in me. my courage has shrunk and the images were torturing my mind. that, that... had all my fears to haunt me.

what happened had already happened. to shed tears do not reverse and erase what you want for time never goes back. yet, shedding tears is an aid of relief.

i can only mumble to myself to stay strong. pray for better days for all and YOU.

i don't want to be shatter.

amitabha. life's biggest bankruptcy is hopeless.

can u feel the night?

2010-10-15T22:15:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling stress but i just felt reluctant to continue it. i don't have the passion and mood to do it right now, temporarily but i really feel depress to think about it. i got presentation coming up and i feel pretty useless when facing it. i'm still at the point of divergence even though i made my decision to choose a road but my feet refuse to make a step forward. like confucius said a journey of thousand miles begin with a single step yet i'm still stopping whatever progress i am having. its demotivating.

fuck the heat waves

2010-10-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

imma talk no more coz i am undergoing a wave that is completely torturing my mind and my body. fuck the heat waves that's circulating around the house from morning till night. damn!

three flavours. two types. one mouth.

2010-10-11T23:19:00.003+08:00

alright, i made a combo of three flavours, two kinds and one mouth.

yes. banana, coconut and lemon. cake and tarts. to eat. apparently i spoiled the weighing machine which i ended up to use mathematical converters and calculators to ounce instead of grams. yet, the taste and texture still remains the same. i is winrar.

few days ago, i finished sewing my zippers pencil case and i still have not use it. next project, it's a coin pouch with zippers also. there are two sides, the cool colors and the summer colors.

evening caught me a surprise. the flowers had finally bloomed and it's perfectly pink. not like other eeckie pinks which made me puke for sure.

just few of my likenesses from ma eyes

2010-10-10T22:32:00.003+08:00

no intention to post for i am lazy to transfer my mini project pictures into the pc. thus, i shall post it next time.

i am here today to post something recurring my likenesses and memories.

first, the emptiness of the space that perks up the bland color of the walls. the red chair that is the main character of the picture.

second, the girl with pearl white skin and with stereotyping, we called it pale. nevertheless, her pearl-ness skin tone is balance and sweet with the striking flowers that stay behind her ears.

third, this picture with two kittens are so cute and the title is library. yeah, it reminded me of students of couples that hanging in the library as an excuse for dating or courtship. hahaha.

finally, i wanted to own good camera since high school and now it feels like getting commercial. even form 1 students can afford it. gooddamn. so i divert it to drums first. photography comes later though i still love stealing pictures over deviant art.

i present you this drum cover for my favourite song. the video title says it.

P/s: i wanna get a baby blue nail polish.

Bossa Nova

2010-10-07T22:00:00.003+08:00

I discover a new genre that can be dwell finely along with my soul... ah... what am I talking??? my soul?? never mind, forget that.

New genre called Bossa Nova. it's a type of jazzy moment from Brazil. Majority are from Brazil and it gives me the fun and sexy at the same time. Some sort of chilling beach party.

Here's the sample of Bossa Nova by Bebel Gilberto. Live version. Okayhthanksbye.

Blissful dwell within..............

2010-10-07T20:49:00.005+08:00

每当我打开面子书，幸福文章排排着等着大家看。

幸福，

在我脑海中有很多意思。但，我却看到的是情侣的幸福选择，如何做个好情侣和类似的文章。一看绝对是很有趣但越看越觉得那只是个大众的思想而当你们看了，点头了，认定了表示你们没主见。慢慢的融入这个大众化的思想。

虽然单身的我没有拥有个真正的历史，不过我很清楚什么是幸福。不必那么华丽，幻想，隆重都可以自足常乐。

当我喝我特制泡的饮料，坐着看蓝蓝的天空，不时有一群鸟儿飞，我都觉得很幸福。

当我吃我煮的早餐，坐着看电视，我都觉得幸福。

当我在听我下载的歌曲，不时就会傻傻的跳舞，我都觉得很幸福。

当我在看书，坐着，站着看，我都觉得很幸福。

当我在烘焙甜点，不时会很烦躁，我都觉得很幸福。

我的重点是无论你在做什么，突然来个自我放松感觉。。。其实它是叫我们所谓的幸福。

为什么一定要两个人才能发觉到幸福呢？

虽然我也渴望两个人的幸福是怎样。。。但，当一个人爱昏头，久而久之，他/她却忘了自己。

我只要高高兴兴，快快乐乐的享受人生。我。。。有这个能做得到吗？

Eat. Pray. Shit. Spend. Love.

2010-10-07T00:20:00.004+08:00

Before I tuck in, I want to share something and it's called Eat Pray Love. Fuck noh, I'm not gonna write like her. FYI, I just dislike watching sentimental movies in cinema and I only go to cinema for surround sound system which concludes ACTION MOVIES. In the end, I only enjoyed the music scores and songs that was in the movie. FYI2, this movie, I wasn't looking forward to it.

Okayh, I watched the movie yesterday and honestly, this 2 hours plus movie is pacing fast. I still opt for the book instead of movie. It leaves me no memories from the scenes except the typical scenery view which I predicted.

This movie took away my initial motivation in search of balance but after I watched the movie, my search for balancing came first before the movie was released. I do sound like a spoiled brat, don't I? You must've been shock that I'm still searching for balance which totally explains why sometimes I secluded/isolated myself. Yet, don't you think I'm too young to look for balance?

Liz is fortunate you know and she's whining which she didn't realized that there are other unfortunate people out there. She already owned and pawned all the things to make her dream come true and she whined???

It still leaves me to sadness when I don't see myself achieving anything. But my theory is Eat. Pray. Spend. Shit. Love.

The author is consider pretty. I can't believe James Franco is inside the movie. He's hot alright but in the end, Julia Roberts goes with Javier Bardem. Luca Argentero who plays Liz's Italian translator is completely chilling my eyes, his smile had charmed me. Ahahaa. Real Italian okay!

suck it and fuck it

2010-10-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

She made me feel like dancing and singing with it. So dynamic and slightly dramatic just the way I wanted.

My lessons are getting tougher than I ever thought and I don't have music class history except choirs. Ironically, I still sound a bit deaf tone and dumb beat. Nevertheless, I must not give up for I'm paying my fees with my hard earned money. Damn!

I'm back with stealing arts and I love my 'crimes' on the line. Pictures sizes are too big to insert here.

why is everyone going for holidays and mine is on the wrong time???????

i is fucking jealous okayh and the farrest i ever traveled this year so far was SINGAPORE!

oh, crystal ball crystal ball

2010-10-03T21:26:00.004+08:00

It's holidays and I still feel the stress from my part time job. It's really stress until my soul is wandering from the concretions.

Thus, I feel like giving away free hugs while pondering on the song 'Details in the Fabric'. Life just turn bland again. *sigh*

Mum claimed I have hearing problems but there's a history she's not aware of it. Probably slightly damaged.

I feel like getting a lomo camera for myself but lomo's works can't be transfer to computer. I look like part of Simpsons. Hahaha. My old shit habit came back... brutal abuser of internet for relieve.

I've not dreamt far to play in a band but I just want to realize a dream that I've longed for. Drums. Ahhh... the beauty of the hard beats.

Recently, my adorations for Lady Gaga is getting stronger and regardless how much she had worships satan, that is none of my business. I only care for her self esteem and courage which she portrayed herself into her songs but not her vids. Do come to Asia.. when I have the ability to afford her tickets. =)

Ohkaythanksbye.

late night talks

2010-09-30T00:17:00.006+08:00

finally, i understand why models need to be skinny and tall. well, it's regardless how ridiculous the clothes were designed, it still looks stunning and gorgeous. nuff said. most importantly, a mannequin-like face is a must requirement for surviving in the modelling industry.

its official with my right hand on the mouse and the left hand learning to grip the drumstick properly. in the process of training my left hand's strength and coordination. it's tough yet it's the process of learning which i definitely enjoying beating drums. it's fucking awesome to listen to the sound of it especially when the rage is on the verge.

i had successfully baked coconut tarts and lemon coconut tarts which i fucking know how to do it. the next time, imma buying fresh cream and canned cherries or peaches for the shell tarts. how sinfully indulging can it gets, apart from eating chocolates la... i am lazy to do the photo editing and this sick phone camera of mine is getting blurry. all i have to do is improve my kneading skills for the tarts' mold.

Lemon Coconut Tarts

Coconut Tarts

it does look horrible but this is how homemade food looks like.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR NISAK!!!

Don't treat it as normal day but rather a PRINCESS DAY! You deserve it darling!

in terms of this and that, it no longer exist

2010-09-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

I lied... I have problems settling down and I do have short span of attention, recently.. I think.

Today I wanna express my projections of impressions.

Somehow, I rather felt that I'm always being used and conned. Okay, maybe it's the way I treat them but I still believe there's no such thing as BEST FRIENDS. I would rather use CLOSE FRIENDS and somehow, betrayal happens anytime when the lust for desires get stronger.

I don't want to say much for I am a considerate person. Well, you all don't read anyways.

The answers to all these baloneys may reveal if I'm willing to find out.

Just go through all these can be a torture and mindfuck but the only thing you must do is to put on a different mask and colors (like chameleon) everyday with different type of people. As you get older, nobody wants to listen to your past unless you are Bill Gates. It's worthless for sharing for no one cares.

If it's you, then be you as long as you don't harm others. If it's not you, no matter how you tried to be different you, don't go for the efforts because that's not you. No one understand yourself other than yourself.

Nuff said. I don't intend to be emo but this is what I've been giving.

Ranting for aging

2010-09-21T01:25:00.006+08:00

Apparently, I'm not on my report and it's still undone. In case you concern, it's only 50% done.

I intend to sleep early, okay, hopefully I'm able to finish blogging within minutes... urm... 30mins earlier to bed.. makes sense right?

Recently, I'm addicted to The Fray, The Arctic Monkeys, Panic! At the disco (all over again) and Lady Gaga songs. Lady Gaga... her songs are all what she can create and if you are thinking about illuminati, sorry, I don't give a fuck and damn what her lyrics are talking about, I'm just only enjoying the rhythm she had formed. As if you care...

What I'm suffering now is dilemma.. I had bought all the ingredients needed for cooking but I just do not know what to cook. I've been browsing all the recipes and none of them are giving me inspirations to cook. So, I shall just go with the flow with all the ingredients I've bought.

Everyone kept asking me what am I doing at home right now?

Ans: goyang kaki. Don't tell me it's fucking relaxing and cool. It's forwarding my aging process and I hate that. I don't feel lively at all. Apart from the internet being my current best friend, what I've left is the Astro, reading materials and my undone home projects.

In order for me not to sound like a spoiled brat, I came up with activities to do for pleasing leisure and since no one wants to go for a trip at the mean time so I have to learn to find something for myself.

A note to me, you and everyone

2010-09-20T01:06:00.003+08:00

Okayh,

I am in the midst of reporting my activities during interns and I came here by accident to express my fatigue of looking at the incomplete report.

Seriously, I want to go to my bedroom, continue reading my books and fall asleep yet the burden of this final piece before I'm officially lay to rest is bugging me. I can't believe the procrastination old habit has finally kicking in back again. It's 1am plus and I should be in the bed with my reading materials. Now, this explains why internet and computer can be harmful and addictive, physically and mentally. It also finally explains why I refused to read anymore books, thanks the information technology era.

Recently, I gave myself so much thoughts through cooking and realized that being immature at this age is not gonna standout oneself in the crowds. If you are still being subjected to your lost for your real desires and dreams, you are still lost. It's true.

If you are still being childish and immature while completing your chapters of life, I suggest you do not be in what you see peer pressure for you're not ready to take control of your life. That signals your readiness for leading your own life. You..... are just not ready.

Love yourself more than anyone else for no one else can do better than you do.

Nothing wrong for being emo, go sit at the corner and draw circles. Do as much thinking as you can. Life is short but let's not chase time, we shall miss everything if we keep chasing time. Be who you are and what you really are. Show the world how you can pull it off. The world is still at it's large, why worry?

Okayh,

I must get back to my fucking reporting.

So long Farewell

2010-09-15T22:40:00.004+08:00

Apparently I am not heartache anymore. Like Beatles- Let It Be, if it's not meant for me regardless of how hard I tried, it still won't work for me even if I own it. So, why still mingling the fucking small thought when the world is still round and it's large?

Somehow, I came up of something to fulfill what I wanna do and what I ever dream of though I may be not afford to own it but it's part of it and I am bloody fucking happy.

Today also mark the end of my internship. I shall miss dearly my colleagues and the routines of how I was always rushing to the office. Sleeping for 30mins before the market runs. Starring outside of the window to check the weather, traffic and sial people's parking. Planning for activities after work. Enjoying talking cocks and bulls with colleagues. Planning what to have for lunch. Change departments for fun. ETC ETC.

I thank all of you for having the patience and kindness towards me. Although I knew I did made plenty of careless mistakes but you all were still there to teach and explain to me patiently. We went through the ups and downs like the stock market's volatility. Together we have seen the faces of shitty people and angelic like people. However, it's still the matter of the destiny that had brought us together. We shall meet again.

"People come into our lives in exchange of pen to write our stories and before we leave, we mark down our signatures for a sign of remembrance. Some might leave our canvas with colors, some might leave with just sketches, some might leave with barely scribbles and some might leave us with dots. No matter what we shall remember each other for every meet will always come to an end. However, memory stays forever." By- Danielle (and that's me)!

I'm indeed bored to the extent of spamming everyone's inbox. Should spend lesser time on FB and spend more on something necessary.

So, I is singing... Teenage Dream- Katy Perry, Arctic Monkeys' Songs and music that pleases my ears!

Just a little bit sleepy thats all.

2010-09-14T23:38:00.003+08:00

I just don't understand how downloading Pitbull's songs came across my mind but most probably coz I needed to satisfy my pleasure and download all shits into the computer.

I still think 'Secrets'- One Republic spurs emotions to me for I feel as if there's someone dedicating this song secretly.

Anyways, I'm still awaiting the time to come for lifting my suspension status in my laughing source. have to wait till 12.22 am. Yet, I'm sleepy and I can't wait anymore.

What's even worse is that my report has been on for days and nights and barely make it to the 50% of completion. I just reluctant to do it and it really pissed me off each time I see it coz I can't think of anything to crap.

So, Jon, if you're reading this... I've to tell ya that I'm so happy to see you coz I is alone... urm.. ok, lonely.

Straight to boredom's hell if it wasn't for my walk in the mall.

2010-09-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

I'm whining about my fucking boredom, maybe feeling a bit pathetic for no one wants to accompany me for outing. I always have to do it alone. I browsed and screened through all my contacts... ticked and crossed on my friends' availability. Sadly, in the end, I'm still doing it as a loner.

At the end of the day, I went for grocery shopping to get inspirations... I did, making salads and appetizers for everyone. It's somehow a dream that I wish it could come true in the near future. Anyways, I found out that it's easy to prepare mash potatoes with the gravy as well. Okay, the salads I prepared was a larger portions so everyone could feed themselves with healthy salads instead of eating their daily staple food. By the way, it's enough to stuff them full.

First, I call it Potato meets Spirals that comes with Italian's spiral pasta with sliced cocktail sausages.

Second, I call it Romanies' Mystery that's cause I insert a special oil origin from the Orient.

Lastly, Cheesy Mash. The title says it all what I've insert in to name the dish.

Finally, I didn't know there's good food in Machap Baru and I feel like satisfying my adrenaline rush to drive down there. You've no idea how exciting it could be driving to Machap Baru. You've no idea at all okay! It's fucking awesome if I have good engines and able to fully control the stability of the steering wheel.

Few days ago, I did enjoyed my lunch/tea in Dr. Cafe. Simply marvelous after I discover what's steamed cider and good oreo cheesecake and please don't compare with Secret Recipe's one coz I think theirs are produced from candy confectioneries which has zero existence of layer feeling taste in their cakes. Sadly, it's only the cake that can accommodate everyone's impressions.

I am still reciprocating my suspended account in my laughing sources website. I is fucking sad. Now, I admit how addictive it can be and how I miss it so much.

i am just being random coz i am just happen to turn to mundane

2010-09-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

I is sad and mundane because no more laughing sources and I is bored to death. So I drink wine to see see if I can chat with anyone. I'm just being random here.

!) each time i listen to secrets by one republic, it's as if there's people dedicating this song to me. no joke.

@)during evening, i was ecstatic to go window shopping but upon reaching home and found out no ones want to have sotong kangkung for supper with me, i is so pathetic to the max.

#)why do the forum have to suspend me for fucking 7 days???? thats my current addiction and no one can cuts off mama's addiction!

$)i am fear for my coming days before the new semester begins. i don't want to grow old and rotten for the coming days. it is very depressing okay.

%)the talk of the future is killing my hopes and dreams away. what's even worst is it even kills and shreds my courage into pieces. i is scare.

^)maybe i should do something to broaden my thoughts and experiences. should i go for another self motivation trip?

&)what's the next event for me to await?

*)there's a kind of jerk acknowledge your existence but ignore your existence when both of you are in the public. that totally changed my impression of a person.

()i read an article and what it says is true. guys and girls do generate different thoughts and perceptions when it comes to interpreting message signals.

)(i hope they will listen to me and not just speaking for excessive bragging.

_) i is really bored to death without laughters and it's fucking seven days.

Life is really short and we have to admit that

2010-09-07T13:37:00.004+08:00

Humans would not suffer the agony and pain if their desires aren't growing.

Seven sins that enthrall our life with the desires and dreams formed by the reality.

The more we capture the world, the more our inner desires bud.

Living simple was never enough for all of us.

Our dreams began to expand further.

We fight with blood, sweat and tears to reach for the top.

Some win the war with all their winnings.

Some win the war with their trophies but they lost their love trophies.

Some lost the war leaving anything with them.

Some lost the war but they gain with other trophies.

To survive and stay to the top, we need to step out and execute actions that we dislike.

We have no options but to keep ourselves to stay alive.

Quit asking why is the world unfair, the world is always unjust and it is ourselves to make it just and worthwhile.

Go ahead and do what we yearn for the mother nature shall not stay too long this way forever.

Life is short and we have to admit that.

U just wasted another of ur 10 mins to read.

2010-09-02T21:19:00.003+08:00

Today,....

Okay, I was humiliated and embarrassed by myself, thanks to my absent minded brain.

UNO- I was embarrassed with myself for not going back along with my bags and leaving it behind. In the end, I had second trip all the way down to pick my bags 3 hours later.

DUO- I was humiliated for my stubbornness on the road causing my time to be wasted.

TRES- I was embarrassed by my stupidity in front of the public that causes giggles and laughs.

QUART- I called no one but you for help and that is embarrassing. I sounded like a BIMBO myself and I couldn't believe with myself either. I called no one but YOU and only asking some silly help. FUCK!

The end. Getting lethargic due to the reciprocal of shit habits.

Ok, thanks, bye

2010-08-31T23:09:00.001+08:00

sorry, a bit depress and low at this moment

Stupidity cut half

2010-08-29T21:25:00.004+08:00

So, yesterday I wasn't satisfied with my stupidity for not using a pan to hold the lemon 'custard'. This time I found one and it's round, ok, less frustration than yesterday, at least. It would be better if it's a rectangle or square and line in with a sheet of parchment. Buttered the pan was useless or maybe it was round.

This time around, I got the taste right, what's wrong is that partial of the crust are stick on to the pan and the lemon filling is not really firmly stick onto the shortbread which I think it's because I baked the crust too long.

But, it was a tiny success for the family almost finish it and I reserved some for breakfast. The bigger failure was the wrongs that I mentioned.

I shall try again coz I'm gonna make one for XX and her mom. Heee. But my family loves it, so I feel proud of thyself. I love lemons recently.

*recently, i giggled too much in front of the screen and thanks to the forum. i laughed hard but i is happy.

I did really screw the lemon bars, kitchen is a not the major victim.

2010-08-29T00:31:00.003+08:00

So I did mentioned to screw up the kitchen and I did with minimal wastage.

The timeline had passed so it should all be YESTERDAY.

In the morning, I baked lemon bars, the dough a.k.a. shortbread was a success. What cause the failure was the stupidity strikes where the pan is there instead I use a tray even after watching videos for demonstration. So, the tastes are precisely good but the look was a failure. LEMON BARS PHAIL.

Suppose to look like this... but I got trashy one.

So, I don't believe my stupidity will continued this way and I tried making dinner for all. Menu: Potato Salad with chicken sausage and pasta AND Bacon in pita pocket.

I used barbecue sauce for spread and Italian herbs for enhancing the taste for Bacon in pita pocket. It was a success coz preparing sandwiches and salads is easy.

Potato Salad with chicken sausage and pasta

Bacon in pita pocket

But lemon bars PHAIL. I is sad but I is proud coz dinner is fawesome.

Kthxbye

I got nothing best to do but to screw up the kitchen

2010-08-27T21:24:00.001+08:00

The menu:

Potatoes salad with colorful pastas and chicken cocktail sausages

Bacon leafy sandwiches

Egg puddings/flan

Lemon Bars

2010-08-27T00:33:00.002+08:00

I am very clueless but all I know is Imma gonna do groceries shopping for my pleasure. Need a checklist.

I is goin to build sandwiches for weekend. I is also goin to build lemon cookies for fun.

Bear my retard language.

Daddy approved my banana cake and it's qualified by cutting half of all the ingredients.

Just for fun 2

2010-08-26T20:55:00.002+08:00

Got nothing best to do but to do all these shits to make myself satisfied.

Just for fun

2010-08-23T17:35:00.006+08:00

Gah! I'm so fucking lazy!

Thank goodness my branch manager concerned my final report for my internship. Poop!

How long am I suppose to procrastinate this round?

I haven't even open the fucking layout to check it out. I've got like estimated 20++ pages to print and have it sign by my branch manager.

Was browsing somewhere and I found this hair look. Fawesome! She calls it dippin with soy sauce, a Japanese soy sauce. I call it wickered. Maybe I can dip it with chili sauce or sambal?

女人最痛。壹

2010-08-22T18:01:00.003+08:00

杜丹花儿在旺开，

巅峰已到朝，

引众来目花儿，

时间不留人，

只能留最美的意，

时间默默的过，

杜丹花儿慢慢的凋谢，

旺盛季节已过，

短暂的艳丽，

只能停留眼前，

短暂的命，

只能到此为止，

杜丹花儿的悲哀。

喜欢上一个不领情的人。贰

2010-08-18T20:26:00.003+08:00

当你喜欢上一个对你冷淡，而他只是一种礼貌的对待你，你就不小心自以为他是有意思的对你好（他所谓的礼貌）。

你就偷偷地喜欢上他，希望来了，黑暗的日子就要结速了，寂寞芳心终于打开了，人生悲哀的故事终有个happily ever after。

但所谓的万中之一扁扁就是要降落在你身上。当你要从单单的日子而走出双双对对的生活，你才发现原来他所作所为只是个他基本的人生观念（我不是指花花公子）。

后来，你开始忧郁，烦恼，談生憾气而问千千百百个为生么，自己那里出错。不久你很想蹦贵的大哭问自己为什么那么天真，那么蠢，自己为什么不早点相遇，那么傻，问为什么每一次都会遇到这样的遭遇。

每一天想要追相大白却没那个勇气的走前一步。

每天都在问人生有几个机会。

日子开始变灰暗就像天晴变天黑。

当你开始想要个答案，最痛心的真相却到了自己的眼前，他的眼里已有别人了，那个人的确不是你。第二度的蹦贵马上就要开始，只能无能为力的哭笑不得。大家就开始疏远对方了。这就是喜欢上个不领情的人的后果。

久而久之你就开始放下了希望，勇敢的走前一步，就是把任务赶快完成希望把那个复杂的结打开。慢慢地开始把人生的每一天塞满了计划。但渴望的心愿任然在世，还信终有一天来个如意。为了一个不领情的人而改变自己变得黑暗，值得吗？他到底值多少使让你那么想拥他呢？不如先开始把周围爱你的，呵护你的，深深地关心你的，保护你的人爱吧。这样人生才值得的活着。

你没犯错只错在大家表错情。曾经拥有这个道理你已明白。过去就让他过去毕竟你已是个大人了。这个世界还是很大的。

*本小姐不是天生的拥有妙语如珠的嘴，请多多包含。

喜欢上一个不领情的人

2010-08-17T22:15:00.002+08:00

One step backward and move to a different direction. Thats all I can say. I really wanna go to cinema alone to be with myself for a moment.

Radical women for their life statement and it is still a success

2010-08-15T22:21:00.003+08:00

Apart from Lady Gaga's numerous outrageous fashion statement, she has shown to the world what the fuck is courage by walking down on a street with a lobster as her accessories on her head. What's even impressive is that her confidence is still as high as usual without breaking the limits to ego. She is still herself unlike the Disney stars.

Other than that, nominated in the Song of the year won by Cyndi Lauper, Time after Time. She did dyed her hair with different colors and owned a radical fashion statement back then. Ya know, paparazzis and the norms those days aren't as radical as today. Unique. Though, she's not really pretty but she is one of a kind.

Today, I bump onto Agyness Deyn while passing by the perfume section. With only one glance, I knew it's her.

Please help to spam!!!

2010-08-15T13:49:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

You leave me no choice but to pester you all to kindly help me to spam this survey form. Please do help to fill in and pass it around to anyone.

Spam This Survey Form

Pretty Please!

Northern Xinjiang. Forget the riots and let's go there.=!

2010-08-13T23:43:00.003+08:00

It's lucky for me to flip the newspaper today and stumble upon a place that really looks like my fairytale.

It's Northern Xinjiang, don't ask me where but that place it's fill with magnificent mountains, mysterious flower fields and sparkling mirror-like rivers. It's stunning and even stunning than Bali, I guess. Forget the riots and chaos created from the disputes among themselves, we can't even lend a hand to them so let's go there and be at peace. Feast for the eyes.

It really fishes my soul away for I'm not the type of scenery viewing person. Once again, it really depicts my so call fairy tale, much better than New Zealand. My imaginary jigsaw puzzle. If only I can fly to Northern Xinjiang right now to heal all the sorrows.

Most importantly, these kids look healthy living in such serene environment. Simple is happiness.

Back when I isolated myself

2010-08-13T20:04:00.003+08:00

Yes, I'm gonna be the homemaker for the weekends, if you're wondering, it's not cleaning but rather making the house more appealing with the five senses, I mean literally.

How do you like my world my to be? I love myself more than anyone cause my soul have been seeded into this physical body so I have the responsibility to pamper and care for myself with the appropriation of course. A definite of white and black.

It's been so long that I've not embed a video. This time around it's not really a video but a song instead. This really brought back my memories when I was a mildly isolated and needed this to heal thyself. Yuna's Ballad.

Random 10

2010-08-12T20:52:00.002+08:00

I'm back with my random thoughts again and this time around, please listen or just be understandable.

This is not a secret anymore, more likely of a fact that's revolving throughout the whole life.

Yes, I suck and I can sense that I'm a real failure for all these love shits.

a. I fall for a person that's really contradicting with my characters.

b. I met the right person but at the wrong time.

c. I fall for the right person but I'm too late.

d. I met the wrong person at the right time.

Totally embarrassed with my failure, I've met many people and how could I not have the chance to be love. I don't know if I should cry or laugh with all these total failures. Just like the song 'Reasons to Love'- Meiko, there shouldn't be any reasons to be in love. How can anyone just land into a relationship easily? Overall, I suck ok. End of #1.

I've temper and please don't test my limited patience. I've done nothing wrong and I am a very considerate person. If you don't tell me what restrictions you would like restrain, I'm sorry but I can't help to be myself and do it on my very own way. Don't let me turn to a freaking ugly bitch for you!

I want to be a homemaker for the time being to fill up my fucking mind with useful stuff instead of sitting down looking up at the skies and awaiting for a day to end, not my routine everyday.

I'm not the pedophile vampire like Edward Cullen, I can't read your mind. Please refer to #2.

Stupidities never fail to occur in my daily life. No matter what I see and experience, I'm always the one that's been shot simultaneously with another third shooter. Imagine snipers, unaware of the presence till the actions begin.

Recently, there's this popular Korean boy band and the name is Lucifer??? Isn't that's the name of devil and don't anyone suspect that they might have deal with devil? A trade for fame with the devil? Maybe they worship devil? I'm bias am I?

I don't feel satisfied with what I've accomplish and I feel nothing at all. Yet, I'm not ready to push myself out of the comfort zone and there's fear of making a move forward for there's no turning back. The more I search for future, the more I fear.

Do you think I'm matured?

I've only got one mission to accomplish and then I'll really feel relieve. Only one and I am not greedy anymore. I only yearn for relief.

#10

Just to make it so nicely done, I shall insert 10. To sum it all up, I really suck and I'm already 21, still feeling sad and pathetic with no luck at all. No fucking luck in meeting the right person.

2010-08-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

when you turn this ) to (

I can really feel the pain and it is really absurd for me to be involve in such unconditional return infatuation.

Yes, I'm rather silly.

It all happens naturally and my thoughts began expand to somewhere unrelated. That's coz I fear of being too late.

Perhaps, the time has come

2010-08-11T13:36:00.002+08:00

As I tried to grab the offer and it turns out the offer is going away further to someone's else hand. Leaving me empty handed and lost. Do I deserve the offer?

I took a step back and letting my hands down watching the offer walking away far from my sight. Before I came to realize that it's not the end yet, the time has not come and I still have the time to see before I regret forever. What I really need to do is to do what I'm suppose to do before my sorrows and regrets come and haunt my near future. I really believe there shall be a better offer in the near future but what's in the present should be accomplish before I end up in bitter.

Perhaps, it's the time to step forward and go for it. What's in the present need to be done but I wouldn't dare to see what the future behold for I only wish for a better everyday.

it's here

2010-08-06T00:06:00.003+08:00

The dreamy offer of such treatment is already here but it doesn't belong to mine, neither yet nor now. I was given a free trial treatment offer in a such where I was being naive and foolish.

Now, I've to consider if I should or shouldn't grab for it as I wasn't sure of my level of commitments and what kind of returns I could harvest. I wouldn't dare to ask for more as long as it's a conditional return in a mutual way. Although the infatuations had been slowly built up but somewhere the journey to the peak is not as smooth as I expected, obstacles slowly rising. The offer could either reject or accept me for it needs to be mutual to harvest a fruitful results. Could it be the mind that's refusing to face the coming obstacles? Could it be the inabilities to ward off the obstacles refusing myself to continue racing to the peak?

Though every moment of staying in the peak will not last long, but I secretly wish it could last longer.

At times, I would secretly cry over my limited courage to go for the offer, which I ended up with sorrows and regrets, temporarily. I've fallen for the offer, could it be a scam? Do I need to step out of the offer game? Should I look for other offer? What if I couldn't find a better offer?

All these answers are definitely not absolute for we don't know what the future holds, the decisions are decided by us, with the determination, there shall be no regrets for what we had done.

Right now, I still need to consider the offer that's right now when the only thing I'm awaiting is the conditional reply. The fear is still there and everyone hates it.

Ladies, I got good stuff for you and you can actually beautify your wardrobe! =)

2010-07-31T00:25:00.004+08:00

All the pretty ladies and women,

I present you some awfully adorable things for you to contemplate and fulfill your needs and desires.

There are all different types of clothes for your wardrobe and when I mean wardrobe, you can actually afford to change your wardrobe as it is cheap and worth to buy.

For example:

If you like blings blings or party goer,

How about being casual?

Love floral patterns?

Love rock and roll recently?

Need office wear or being prim and proper?

Naturally adorable in this dress

Something unusual

Cute jumpsuits?

There's mix and match available too!

Ladies, please do not hesitate anymore.

If you want a killer wardrobe like those, you have the rights and grand honor to visit this site. Feel free to choose anything you like and then contact me through my

MSN: lyying15@hotmail.com

Don't worry about the price as it should be around the range of RM 25- RM 35. The maximum we can go is only RM 35.

*excluding postage fees*

Visit this and I'm sure it will satisfies your dreams of wardrobe.

FOREVER 25

Please do visit and let me know your desires.

My love affair with Yellow

2010-07-23T22:15:00.002+08:00

My love affair with my yellow shoes is what I've been in for almost half a year. I still love it dearly despite the odd color that matches my malfunction wardrobe.

It heals my soles clearly.

Crying is not a serious offensive crime and it's not a sin either. It's all about the foolishness I made and I was pretty mad about myself for being that way.

Anyhow, a decade old movie that I would love to recommend is Lavender. Made in Hong Kong and it's simply lovely. A love story that I would really sit down and watch.

2010-07-22T22:22:00.003+08:00

I really wish I could use a knife right now and stab all these bullshits mingling in my life.

For ex: receive a summon out of nowhere, my highly anticipated programme got crash and it took me rubbish time to cure the crash programme.

What's even ridiculous is that I'm still suffering from the thoughts that I concluded. I really wish I could borrow a shoulder to cry on. Physically. I'm getting clueless already, it's either I've to put it down and walk off or to stay and wait for hopeless hopes.

let's all not be stupid to put all the eggs in a basket

2010-07-21T19:59:00.003+08:00

So bloody fucking happy to receive a 3D football poster from my colleague. She's so thoughtful and gave me a Fernando Torres. Weeeee..........

Aku budak bahagia.

Today is such a jovial day with fucking bullshits and laughters to ease the pain of awaiting time.

Damn, it was such a frustration till I dropped the idea of making apricot/peach jam. The real frustration was ka-ching. Fucking annoyed by the limited capability I have.

These days, I'm still annoyed and irritated by the thoughts I had been mingling around and I should just wake up to live on. The earth owns a hugely terrifying diameter and I believe the world is still at it's large. Thus, there shouldn't be any particular reasons to keep me running in the same pace and falling for the hideous trap that will soon cause me to grieve over the regretted life I ever created.

Like I said before, let's all not be stupid to put all the eggs in a basket. It's totally true and the more we gently put the eggs in, the higher the possibility for those eggs to be crush by the hard cold floor. Ya get what i mean right?

For one moment, I realized that I'm actually a close person which means I hate dealings with big and unknown crowds. I'm only okay with one on one till five even with new friends. Not till the extent of being an invisible fellow right there, it scares the hell out of me. Sometimes, I do have crowds phobia and desperately wishing to go home.

A wish to begin

2010-07-21T10:52:00.002+08:00

Something had hit me in my brain and it seems like I've long forgotten my sweet childhood memories in Brunei. Hence, I shouldn't be shouting and exclaiming going to other fascinating and appealing countries for travelling. Thus, I made my mind, my first bag packing trip shall be Brunei for recalling my memories deep down that I've buried and of course to search for the lost memories hidden far behind the treasure chest.

Well, for donkey years I've not gone back there and research is really required to fulfill my satisfactions. First stop shall be Brunei and that's my wish before I embark for a new journey. Anyone up for the trip to Brunei?

2010-07-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

我承认我的心是有点不平衡。

但我越思考越觉得笨，

那是因为我实在太天真而没三思的就这样决定。

有时候我总觉得像我这样的性格是最好骗，

因为我发觉到自己讲话没用脑。

而应此就这样那么容易让别人识破我的思想。

但我可以勇敢地宣布我是真的心理不平衡

IDK

2010-07-19T10:48:00.002+08:00

My words always been constantly cut off which signifies I retain a small role in your heart@brain.

So, I have nothing much to say about myself.

If you like to draw my characteristics base on your thoughts, I say go ahead. I couldn't care less coz you're the person that I couldn't care less.

It's easy for me to determine how much important you are to me.

That's one of the purpose of me to set up blog coz I knew no one wants to listen so I write, in case you care and you are aware of my existence.

No point wasting my time and energy to do explanation. If you like it that way, like it la... if you don't like it then don't like lo.

I don't fucking give a damn.

*my FYP2 is still running at the same pace*

DIE

2010-07-16T21:17:00.002+08:00

I found the usefulness of FACEBOOK. Finally.

After for days and months, I've been figuring what's FACEBOOK for?

Today, it revealed the usefulness. The scenario was 'So near yet so far' and by using the power of FACEBOOK, I was able to reveal my powers and break the tense within.

Nevertheless, this is how the power of FACEBOOK has benefited me.

*and no, I'm not talking about stalkers and rejoicing, it's how one knows how to utilize to control the situation*

At times I began to do some self-pity to stay the way I am

2010-07-13T21:57:00.002+08:00

So fatigue right now and I can't believe with myself that I'm still able to lift my fingers to go on typing this post.

*Sigh*

It's already July and I'm feeling pathetic for myself. Hours ago, I was browsing my friend's 21st celebration birthday party, I wasn't feeling anything at all. After couple of pictures, I began to self- pity. Honestly, my 21st celebration wasn't grand or memorable yet it was sufficient enough for me to be acknowledge there's people who actually care for me.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth so I don't feel deserve to hold any parties. Plus, it's not me. Then, I tried recalling back my friends and I only have a couple of them so it's not a really extreme excitement kind of party but a simple celebration. So, should I call myself pathetic or sad?

Pathetic cos I have a simple and small celebration

Sad cos I don't have much friends to celebrate together and is a lone ranger actually.

But to recall it again, it was a sigh of relief cos holding parties and inviting guests of known and unknown is totally out of me. I own a very poor attitude when serving guests.

As years go by, I began to feel my big day as normal day cos I don't feel special anymore though it's labor day but so what. It's another public holiday for me that's all.

************************************************************************************

Recently, I began to wonder if all the humans are the same. They play tricks to get what they yearn for and ditch you after they have successfully obtain it. It's the same and I've encounter so many of them especially men. I was too stupid to allow my kindness to befall onto their fucking shit traps. I never learn my lesson till I got a wake up call. Sangat sedih.

I told myself that I shall not repeat the bloody same mistake again. Nabeh! I've feelings too and we are both human so please treat each other nicely. We can be mutual and not for you being a parasite.

El Roja Gana! Viva España

2010-07-12T22:08:00.004+08:00

*Jeng Jeng Jeng Jeng*

Introducing the new CHAMPIONS for WORLD CUP 2010:

LA ROJA! EL MATADORS!

It's SPAIN!

Their fair play has made them through the quarter finals, semi finals, finals and NO.1.

Without a doubt, a wake up call is deserve to be given to Spain after a shocking defeat by Switzerland at the group H tournament. Despite the small loss, they managed dribble all the way through the very last match.

Although Espana didn't win big in every matches but they manage to conceive winning for every match after the first lost.

No, we are not gonna point out who's the ultimatum hero of the team but everyone did their part very well. Ball possessions are roundly fine, strategies fit in well against the contender and clear collaborations.

Coach did give a prestige lessons for his pupils.

Defenders did form a good wall.

Midfielders did channel the ball smoothly.

Strikers did create every artistic opportunities.

Goalkeepers did play the role of the last knight in order to protect the forte. He also played the role of captain firmly to make sure his players stay firmly on the ground.

They might have broken certain rules yet conceiving a winning till the very last minute has bring tears of joy, laughters of shock and smiles of victory that created the beautiful history of FIFA. That's how Espana brought the end of the four years journey wonderfully.

Now, let's all sleep in peace for all this exciting month has brought us down weary yet harmonious coz FOOTBALL is a RELIGION to all regardless of human's forms.

We shall see you again in Brazil, 2014. (I mean the World Cup).

Time to spare for myself

2010-07-12T21:06:00.002+08:00

I let some time to spare to rethink about my recent behaviors and attitudes:

* I've been cutting off people's sentences.

* I should pay more concern to those who are actually yearning for listeners.

* I should be stronger in constructing my determinations.

* I need to cut ties with my bad habits at the table.

* I should be more sensitive and thoughtful to people I care.

Spain Rubber Bracelet

2010-07-10T23:36:00.001+08:00

It's been five days I'm wearing Spain's rubber bracelet. It is so fucking awesome to have it around my wrist. Fucking awesome!

Now you know which side I'm on!

Spare Paul

2010-07-08T23:11:00.003+08:00

Spain had obviously won the match against Germany.

Germans blame the octopus for giving away predictions of Spain's victory. The next day, Germans began resenting hatred towards Paul the octopus. Why blame the octopus?

The octopus is only giving predictions and not casting any spells or cursing it. Yet, people put the blame on the octopus by sending octopus into their tummy.

All these so called hatred sounds like a big joke to me. I only assume those who place their bets on Germans will eat the octopus cause they lost the money and thus, they want their bloody fucking revenge.

What's worst is that it annoys me to the extent of blogging about it. Paul is only giving away predictions!

Meanwhile, Singapore has parrot oracle lately and predicting Holland will win the World Cup. So, if Spain lost, the Spanish are going to eat the parrot?????

May the best team wins!

Not so wisdom after all

2010-07-07T20:37:00.003+08:00

World Cup is coming to an end and to think about it, it actually kinda sad as the moment has come. THE END OF WORLD CUP. I've been waiting for so long to embrace the moment the champions of field holding the trophy with tears of joy.

I don't even want the World Cup to END, should have drag the whole event duration at most 2 months for everyone's satisfactions yearning for more.

Finally, they took down the billboard and World Cup is only coming to an end not already end. Why too early? Now, it demotivates me from everything, it's my source power every morning. Damn!

Mystery solved: Finally, I found the causes of the torment pain in my teeth each time I take food with sticky and sweet form.

This is how it happens:-

Once upon an evening, I was looking at the mirror examining my teeth, putting my fingers to check my teeth alignment (I've not put on my retainers for sometime) and lastly, I press my fingers on to my proud wisdom tooth. Goddamn, it hurts like shit! I can feel the vine of sensors are visible upon the eroded tooth. I even pick up some pieces of eroded tooth. My wisdom tooth that bears during my age of 16 and now, it gives me a big pain in the vines. I'm not so wise at all. My tooth!!!!

This explains:-

the pain each time I took a bite on sweet and sticky food but my wisdom tooth barely grow 1cm!!!!!!!!

Really fucking shit.

I've to admit, I've teeth problems ever since primary school and prolong till now. Argh... I couldn't even believe that I actually had to put on braces for one year and a half. My most troublesome part of body is my teeth. Ever since primary school, I've got many holes to be cement and each year my visit to the dentist is always without fail. Nabeh!

I've been drinking milk for calcium. It didn't help that much.

I've been eating lesser sugar. Still erode.

I need to sought dentist but it's already in a serious damage condition. What's worst it happens to be a tiny wisdom tooth and the pain is getting drastic.

Forca Portugal! Tribute

2010-06-30T21:57:00.005+08:00

It was devastating to know that Portugal had lost the match and what's worst is that you're watching it live and you could do nothing about it. The part where salt to wound was both of my favorite teams are playing amongst each other, Portugal vs Spain.

They got players playing for renown football club in the world yet what they lack of is what we call Lady Luck.

Firstly, they were placed in the same group with Brazil. Secondly, they have to face Spain, their neighbor country out of their expectations. Maybe I do sound like a sore loser in denial but that's the truth.

C'mon the goal strike by Villa was just merely by luck and of course, the Portugal's GK had defensed it well throughout every shot. If it wasn't for Villa's goal, Portugal could have maintain nil-nil with extra time and had fat chances to move forward with the penalty shots.

Now, Portugal's elimination feels like the end of World Cup and it made me feel demotivate to watch WC anymore. *Sigh* After for my enthusiasm and cheers for Portugal, why do you have to end your journey shortly?

I don't want to point any blames to the team (except C.Ron for being one man show) but rather lift their heads high to home. They did their best but luck factor wasn't on their side all the while. They played good games but only made wrong predictions and assumptions (referring to coach). I wanted to punch the fucking referee at his face for ignoring all the fouls made by Spain.

What happens if Simao or Carvalho lead the team?

Nonetheless, I'm proud for Portugal for making this far. They've gone through rainy weathers and unpredictable consequences yet they still made it far. A tribute to Portugal, their departure is a loss to all viewers and spectators. Forca Portugal!

Now, I'm rooting for Argentina and Spain all the way. Messi, with love.

P/S: Should check out LV's website, Pele, Maradona and Zidane are featuring in the WC fever for LV. Footballers of the century.

I took pictures with Simao :love:

2010-06-28T13:08:00.005+08:00

I took pictures with the stars. Only 3 though. Sadly, I don't think there's people know who's Simao. Adidas had finally approved him for sponsorship.

Simao Sabrosa.

Lionel 'Leo' Messi

David Villa

What's even important is that I'm a big and loyal fan to Portugal!

This spot here suppose belong to Spain.

Argentina!

For once, I refuse to eat chicken due to the offensive smell of slaughter in the market and kitchen. No, it's not about how KFC treated their chicken before frying them, it's the smell of clones and artificial hormones injections. Apparently, KFC is giving away football posters and that's the one I'm looking for and I only want the freaking poster not quoting 'finger licking good'!

*the poster looks exactly like the billboard except they deleted Fernando Torres*

No more conspiracy theories

2010-06-26T00:46:00.005+08:00

Portugal had finally draw tie with Samba Kings, Brazil. Nonetheless, both of them still make it to the round 16, the scarier part was the losing team shall be eliminated in the round 16. Despite the match drew 0-0 which has proven that Portugal had defended well in the battle. I fucking hate C.Ronaldo being the captain and he did not get any ball near to a fucking goal post. It should be Simao or R.Carvalho being the leader for their country. Who's that fucking retard chose him to be the captain?

The professional had concluded the statistics of ball possession during the match, I don't fucking understand why they underestimate Portugal by just merely giving away a figure of 30%-40%.

Portugal's ball possession was 39% for the maximum and 32% for minimum. Meanwhile, Brazil has got 60% to 70% figure. Yet, Portugal had been playing well although there were some missing passings to their members.

However, I was drawing my own theory as well and the real question of Portugal's strategy:

*If Portugal could defeat DPR Korea with a 7-0 but why Portugal couldn't shoot a goal during the Ivory Coast's match? Instead they drew a 0-0 and there weren't much effort in that game as well.

*However, Brazil could have easily pulled down Ivory Coast with a 3-1 result and also DPR Korea with 2-1 as well.

*This also proven DPR Korea had the level equally with Brazil but a shameful lost with Portugal by 7-0.

Then, I begin to make comparison all of Portugal's match against Ivory Coast, DPR Korea and Brazil.

You see, the match between IC, the efforts Portugal gave wasn't 100% and they were running as slow as they could to defend for a draw instead of winnings. They actually had lots of opportunities.

It's either they received a wake up call upon the draw with IC or they were shielding their strengths. During the battle with DPR Korea, so many efforts and tricks were premiering resulting a 7-0.

If both of those matches they've won, they could have move to no.1 in Group G.

My fear came for Portugal when they were against Brazil. Surprisingly, they concluded a draw with nil-nil. Despite Brazil being rank world no. 1, the defense from Portugal were as good as a fortress.

NO MORE ASSUMPTIONS:

The fixture of the round 16 which is by eliminating the rival regardless of draws. Portugal is now facing Spain in the KO STAGE! Boohoo! Argh... Spain should have just remain as runner up instead of moving up to first place. Now, they have to face Portugal, world ranking no. 3 vs world ranking no. 2. If Portugal eliminated, I'll definitely cry. Really fucking frustrating. If Spain eliminated, I don't feel like watching FIFA 2010 anymore. Can't they switch place and battle against other countries instead of their very own neighbour country?

Portugal did not expect Spain to top their own group and now they have to face each other.

Here's something I don't understand why they change the color of it, after all, it's unique and attractive.

Year 2006's jersey colors. Maroon.

The current jerseys.

Completely Red: Home

White with vertical stripes (green and red): Away

The white one ain't that normal looking but the red one looks like England's away jersey.

Something adorable makes me laugh and I swear it's unbelievably adorable and silly especially Messi....

HAHAHAHA (Part 1)

HAHAHAHA (Part 2)

Enjoy

Peter Crouch is actually handsome and they kept reserving him at the bench when they praised he's a good footballer.

Adorable isn't it?

Go Matadors!

Portugal!

2010-06-25T21:19:00.005+08:00

Inspirations at it's lost. Blergh, don't ask how it happen, it happens to *poof*

Few days ago, I bought a dress for XX and I did use Pos Laju. "Besok Kirim, Hari Ini Sampai"- Samy Vellu. How the hell did he even think of that first?

Everyday, I would use the same route to work just to see this billboard.

I'm not insane but preferably dreamy. Just to see Messi, Kaka, Torres and that blonde guy. Hee... Even my colleagues admit he's so adorable.

PORTUGAL VS BRAZIL!